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SUFFRAGE 
SNAPSHOTS 



By 



lAv IDA HUSTED HARPER 



Have a smile with me 



Washington, D. C, 
1915 



^' 



These random paragraphs are a " 
few of many which have ap- 
peared in Judge to express the 
lighter side of the so-called 
"woman question." This centers 
in the suffrage movement but 
woman's quest of the vote is not 
a joke. It means a great deal 
of hard work, many anxious 
hours, some keen disappointments, 
yet those who are not in the thick 
of the fray will never know the 
good times they have missed. 
Flashes of fun have been scattered 
all along the way like flecks of 
sunshine on a shaded path. It 
will seem very dull for a little 
while after the vote is won and 
women get their rights, but they 
will soon be able to make things 
lively again an4 Contribute as al- 
ways to the gayjaty of the nation. 



27 m 



Copyright, 1915 
By Ida Husted Harper 
Original matter copyrighted by The Leslie-Judge . Publish- 
ing Co, and used in its present form by their courtesy. 



'CI.A397761 



Miss Jane Addams in her suffrage speeches in- 
sists that men have nothing to fear, for the women 
will vote right. That very fact gives some of them 
everything to fear. 

Edison says, "the movement for woman suffrage 
is just plain morals." Maybe that's the trouble — 
they're too plain. Dress them up fashionably and 
see if the lady "antis" won't accept them. 

A new Chicago policewoman has qualified as one 
of the best shots on the force, 92 out of 100. Does 
she vote because she is such a good shot or can she 
shoot so well because she is a voter? What is the 
connection between shooting and voting anyway ? 

* * 

Annie Riley Hale, a prominent "anti," says that 
women want the suffrage in order to establish polyg- 
amy throughout the United States. If she can 
prove it will have that effect the women can take 
a rest and the men will carry on their campaign 
for them. 

It looks as if one recall one defeat and then 
another election had started wings on Mayor Hi 
Gill, of Seattle. After the tragic close of his first 
term his chief of police and alleged partner in 
sinful practices was sent to prison. The women 
gave Hi another chaince and. now he has appointed 
as chief of police the ministers' candidate for mayor 
and is trying to live up to his chief's standard. 
Meanwhile the women are standing by with their 
spectacles on and a recall petition handy. 



If Mr. Bryan writes the next Democratic platform 
it is safe to wager there will be one plank in it 
which he flatly refused to put in the last one. 

Why don't the "antis" get a sewing society some- 
where to pass a resolution against woman suffrage? 
It is growing terribly monotonous to have all the 
women's organizations in the country declaring in 
favor. 

It is said the Ohio Board of Administration is 
appalled at the number of imbeciles in the State. 
We thought there must be quite a lot of them when 
528,295 votes were cast against the woman-suffrage 
amendment recently. 

Women have voted for over twenty years ir 
Colorado and twenty-one judges of districts courts 
have sent letters to United States Senator Shafroth. 
testifying that they never have known a case of 
divorce because of political differences between 
husband and wife. Another anti-suffrage bomb 
failed to explode! 

Dear, dear, how times have changed! Once a 
woman was not considered a person by law and a 
wife ?.nd husband were one and he was it. Now the 
highest court in New York has decided that a wife 
is not only a person and an individual in her own 
right but she is a family ! "A childless widow or 
a deserted wife without children is included in the 
term family" — those are the very words. From 
nobody to a whole family — what an evolution ! 



A Chicago girl swam two miles to shore from 
an overturned boat, dragging her escort who couldn't 
swim. Now the delicate question arises, Which shall 
do the proposing? 

The High Court of Great Britain has decided that 
a woman cannot practice law because she is not 
a "person;" but she can be a Queen because a 
Queen does not have to be a person — at least that 
is all anybody can make out of the decision. 

* * 

Mr. Hugh Fox, secretary of the United States 
Brewers' Association, assures the women that it will 
make no organized opposition to the pending suffrage 
amendments. Maybe not — but there is something 
mightily suggestive in that name. 

"Tariff reform, fiscal policies, large international 
relations are foreign to the consciousness of the 
average woman," says Mrs. Dodge, president of the 
anti-suffragists. Maybe so, but it seems as if she 
might have sense enough to put a mark on a bal- 
lot opposite an eagle, a star or a moose's head. 

* * 

A man was excused from serving as juror in a 
murder trial in New York lately because his wife 
wouldn't allow him to convict any one of murder. 
Out in Oregon a juror was challenged the other day 
because his wife had already been accepted and it 
would be impossible for him to give an unbiased 
opinion. What makes people think that under 
equal suffrage wives would all vote as their hus- 
bands do? 



The women voters of Arizona have started in on 
so many reforms that the men can almost feel their 
wings sprouting. 

The president of the New York State "antis" says, 
"Sufifrage is going, not coming." Well, it sure does 
seem to be going some these days. 

It seems as if, when not only State courts but 
the United States government itself forbids the" 
use of aigrettes, women would give up trying to 
wear them; but the Injun in 'em dies hard. 

A French naturalist has discovered that the female 
oyster is far more palatable than the male. This is 
the case with all animals that are used for food. 
It is a common remark about a woman that she looks 
good enough to eat, but did anybody ever say that 
about a man? 

It seems as if the suffragists have come not to 
bring peace but a sword into the world. When Mrs. 
Chapman Catt, the international president, was 
sailing across the Pacific homeward from her little 
trip to organize the world for woman suffrage, all 
was calm and serene until she was called on for a 
speech. "Before this," said one of the men voyagers, 
"we were all at peace with one another; but after 
that woman spoke, everybody was fighting over the 
suffrage question." This i-s a hint to hostesses : 
When your guests seem bored to extinction, just get 
somebody to say woman suffrage, and then watch 
the sparks fly! 



It is said that in England whiskers are again to 
be the style. One thing is certain — if they become 
the fashion in this country, our women will set their 
faces against them ! 

The dress skirt this fall is to be narrower than 
ever, and a noted tailor says the only question is, 
''Can a lady wear it?" Perhaps a lady can, but a 
modest woman won't. 

And now they say President Wilson is about to 
reverse his position on amending the Sherman anti- 
trust law. When he gets ready to back track on the 
woman-suffrage question he will have no difficulty 
in establishing a precedent. 

* * 

In the debate in the North Carolina senate on 
a bill to permit women to act as notaries public 
it was objected to because women write a "vertical 
hand" and wear slit skirts. That shouldn't disquali- 
fy them as notaries, but it is as strong an argument 
against giving them the suffrage as one often hears. 

* * 

The New York City board of education dismissed 
a woman fireman from one of the public schools, 
on the ground that it was not suitable work for a 
woman. It's all right for her to get up at home 
winter mornings and make the fire but whenever 
there is a salary attached the work becomes un- 
womanly. Strange that women cannot see these 
things without having to be shown so often. There 
ought to be little sign-boards set up along their path, 
saying, "Public salaries are only for voters." 



"Yeast," a new suffrage play, is just being tried 
out. It is sure to cause a rise among the "antis." 

A bill is before Congress to annex the North Pole 
as United States territory. Bet it comes in with 
a Votes for Women flag on the end of it. 

If the suffragists and the "antis" don't quit writihg 
letters to members of Congress the latter will raise 
the rate of postage instead of lowering it. 

Recent census reports show that 86.7 of all per- 
sons over twenty-five marry. That is quite enough 
— the other 13.3 are needed to show the married 
what they escaped. 

The woman-suffrage question in this country has 
been settled. The Colonel did it in his whirlwind 
tour of New York's East Side. "How about votes 
for women?" called out the unscareable Maud 
Malone. "Madam," said Mr. Roosevelt, "I have 
asked that you women be allowed to vote to deter- 
mine whether or not you shall vote." Just that; 
he never told whom he had asked, but the mere fact 
that he had asked was enough. All the women 
have to do now is to keep still and wait till some- 
body "allows" them to vote whether they want to 
vote. If one over one-half of the twenty- four mil- 
lions says "yes," then they can all go right out and 
vote. But if one over one-half says "no," then the 
11,999,999 that want to can't. Beautiful plan— so 
simple, so statesmanlike ! But it seems to lack pro- 
vision for a recall and a new deal. 

8 



Two wom^n card sharps on a big ocean liner are 
said to have relieved a number of the male voyagers 
of all their ready cash. Another flagrant instance 
of woman's usurping an occupation that rightfully 
belongs to man! 

■35- * 

Vice-President Marshall can't do anything for 
woman suffrage because his wife doesn't believe in it. 
That might be a sufficient excuse for Mr. Marshall 
as an individual but it is rather thin for the Vice- 
President of the United States. 

* * 

"Bachelors are much more likely to become insane 
than married men," is the decision of the Massa- 
chusetts Mental Hygiene Conference. Yes, the mere 
fact that they choose to remain bachelors shows a 
mental twist. 

A New York paper sagely remarks, "Under any 
system we shall not get a government of cherubs 
until we become cherubs ourselves." That's too long 
ahead. Men have always told women they were 
angels, so why not begin with woman suffrage as 
the first step? 

"All the blessed creatures have to do," said Rep- 
resentative Adamson, of Georgia, in his speech, "is 
to intimate in a gentle way, in their charming tones 
and pleasing manner to the lords of creation that 
they wish to have the privilege of voting." How 
much that reminds one of Heflin, of Alabama — it's 
so different! 



"Women of New Jersey," said ex-Assemblyman 
Matthews at the legislative hearing, "if you want to 
improve the conditions of public life, I beg you to 
keep on being women." As they felt that conditions 
very much needed improving, and for various other 
reasons, they adopted a resolution to keep on being 
women. 

For the fourth year in succession a woman has 
won the prize of $1,250 offered by an English pub- 
lishing house for the best first novel. It is bad 
enough that there are a million more women than 
men over there, without having them add to the 
offense by such performances as this. They'll never 

get the vote. 

* * 

The president of the Pennsylvania Anti-Suffrage 
Society asks its members to "write to all the 
United States Senators, except those from the suf- 
frage States, and tell them that the great, silent 
majority of women do not want the vote." She 
was very kind to omit those gentlemen — they might 
laugh themselves to death. 

* * 

The Anti-Suffrage Association claims the credit 
for defeating the appointment of a Woman Suf- 
frage Committee in the lower house of Congress. 
The only question voted on in the Democratic cau- 
cus was that "woman suffrage is a State and not 
a Federal question," but this will not disturb the 
complacence of the "antis." They will simply claim 
that they originated the doctrine of State's rights. 

10 



The Texas preacher who asked all the women of 
his congregation on Easter Sunday to take off their 
hats had St. Paul beaten to a frazzle. 

* * 

The "antis" are failing to scare the suffragists by- 
warning them that they will get the worst of it 
when they "rouse the brute force in men." As 
long as they are gradually getting everything they 
ask for they will never believe that men are brutes. 

Englishmen are howling because, under the new 
income-tax law, the wife can find out how much 
property the husband has. But didn't she know 
already, as he promised at the altar, "With all my 
worldly goods I thee endow"? 

There seems to be some anxiety lest the new wom- 
en internes at Bellevue Hospital may not be able to 
jump on a speeding ambulance. Some encourage- 
ment is given by the news from Vassar that one 
girl has just thrown a basketball seventy-five feet 
and another has "smashed the broad-jump record" 
with a jump of over nine feet. Give the new internes 
a chance. 

A man in the audience of State Senator Helen 
Robinson, of Colorado, called out that as there was 
only one woman and thirty-four men in the Senate, 
this showed it was a place for men. She answered 
that as there were eighty-seven women and eight 
hundred men in the State penitentiary, this evidently 
showed the same thing. Doesn't she know that men 
won't love her if she talks like that? 

11 



Why are there so many more widows than 
widowers? Because a man finds marriage such a 
nice institution that he gets right back into it, while 
a woman — well, she doesn't. 

* * 

Ex-Speaker Cannon says that as women can now 
vote in Illinois it is a good time for handsome men 
to run for office, and that is why he ran. But 
Illinois women can't vote for , Congressmen and 
that is why he was elected. 

The women of Alaska, at the first election since 
they were enfranchised, elected an entire non-par- 
tisan ticket. It is no wonder the old party machines 
put on speed and try to run over a woman-suffrage 
amendment. 

According to the latest medical discovery, love 
causes an "intoxication of the nerve centers which 
may lead to insanity. That is probably why people 
who are in love are said to be crazy about each 
other — their nerve centers are on a spree. Cynics 
might call marriage a jag cure. 

* * 

The anti-suffragists say that the suffrage move- 
ment is driving women away from marriage and 
"the feminist movement is turning marriage into a 
trade for alimony," and yet that the two move- 
ments are one and the scme. But how can a woman 
make an alimony bargain if she has not been mar- 
ried? It really seems as if those "antis" had set out 
to prove the charge that the feminine mind is in- 
capable of logic. 

12 



If the anti-suffragists would observe their Golden 
Rule, that "a woman's place is at home," it would 
not be half so easy for those other women to get 
the ballot. 

Outside of the South only two States voted 
soHdly against the woman suffrage amendment in 
the lower house of Congress — Vermont and Dela- 
ware. Please excuse them, they're such little ones. 

* * 

Virginia suffragists have discovered that in 1829 
her women petitioned a constitutional convention 
for the franchise. That was only eighty-six years 
ago, and petitions from women are seldom acted 
upon in so short a time as that. 

* * 

At the legislative hearing in Massachusetts the 
other day, one of the opponents said she did not 
believe women ought to vote but thought one-half 
the Legislature should be composed of women. 
Just as her sister "antis" always have done, she 

keeps one eye on the offices. 

* ♦ 

During the recent registration in San Francisco, 
automobiles were provided for the women, while 
the men were left to walk, and they rent the air 
with their protests. In Washington a jury com- 
posed of men and women had to go to the country 
to inspect some property. The women were sent 
in automobiles and the men in wagons, and their 
anger could be heard for miles. As the young 
woman wrote to her sweetheart, "The trubble with 
you is you are jellus." 

13 



Possibly women as well as men may be at their 
best when fifty, but they will never give anybody a 
chance to prove it on them. 

Representative J. Hampton Moore, of Philadel- 
phia, is quoted as saying it will be 20 years before 
Congress hears any more about prohibition or 
woman suffrage. That must be a printer's mis- 
take, and even the 2 is fifty per cent, too much. 

* * 

Indiana women have formed a council to work 
with the Legislature "for the uplift of women and 
children." Wouldn't it be of greater benefit to 
the State if they would work for the uplift of the 
legislators? 

Anti-sufifragists are censuring Senator Helen Ring 
Robinson, of Colorado, because she is in the East 
lecturing instead of at home legislating. But she 
can't unless the Governor calls a special session, 
as the Legislature does not meet this year. Those 
anti-suffrage objections are such funny little boom- 
erangs ! 

New Zealand has just been celebrating the twen- 
ty-first year of its equal-suffrage law. To be sure 
that country is some distance off, but it seems as if 
we should have heard of the wrecked homes, ruined 
families, declining birth rate, feminized men and 
general reign of socialism, polygamy and other 
things which the "antis" declare will follow woman 
suffrage. If they will then they have done it, so 
let us have a bill of particulars from New Zealand. 

14 



A Chicago lawyer secured a big alimony for his 
client on the argument that a man who marries a 
handsome woman must dress her in a style befitting 
her beauty. This ought to put the plain woman sev- 
eral laps ahead in the matrimonial race — ^but it 
won't. 

If the colonel feels a little disheartened at the 
lapses in the Progressive party while he was away 
revising the map of South America, he can cheer 
up at the boom in votes for women. There will be 
more than twice as many of them in 1916 as when 
he set out to round them up two years ago. 

* * 

The Supreme Court of the District of Columbia 
has decided that after a wife has left her husband's 
bed and board she may establish her own domicile 
wherever she pleases. That is an improvement on 
the old law, which did not allow her any place to 
sleep and eat legally without her husband's per- 
mission. 

* * 

Mrs. John Martin, a leader of the "antis," said 
recently,. in a public address in New York, "If they 
dare attempt to force the ballot on us here in the 
East, they will find that we are the daughters of the 
heroes who fought and bled at Concord and Lexing- 
ton, who starved at Valley Forge !" Seems as if 
we had heard somewhere that those heroes did all 
that for the specific purpose of obtaining the ballot. 
"Descendants" is a very suitable word to apply to 
their daughters. 

15 



It was a woman who solved the "Million Dollar 
Mystery" and received the $10,000 prize; but that 
isn't the worst of it — she hasn't any husband to 
take care of the money for her. 

* * 

The Anti-Sufifrage Society forbids its members to 
say, "Woman suffrage is coming!" That's right — it 
shows a lack of originality to use the same slogan 
as the suffragists and how can they expect to 
raise money for a campaign against a sure thing? 
* * 

A rich New Yorker, who has just died, left his 
fortune for his daughters in the hands of mascu- 
line executors because he doubted women's wisdom 
in business. How did he happen to have so much 
confidence in men's honesty in business? 

* * 

Speaker Clark is no "neutral" when it comes to 
woman suffrage. During the House debate the 
other day the officers of the Suffrage Association 
were invited to occupy his bench in the gallery and 
have luncheon in his rooms at the Capitol. Give 
him the Iron Cross. 

A man in Chicago has written a booklet against 
woman suffrage, in which he relates that when he 
was a small boy he and his sister were attacked by 
wolves, which his mother drove off with a gun. 
"If she had been a suffragette," he says, "she would 
probably have been away from home that night at- 
tending a political meeting and Sister Lucy and I 
would have been eaten alive." Sister Lucy might 
have been a loss to the world. 

10 



A wife has recently laughed herself to death at 
one of her husband's jokes. At least there is the 
consolation that she never will have to listen to any 

more of them. 

* * 

The anti-suffragists say that "feminism and the 
family are inherently and irrevocably incompatible." 
When we find out what that means we are going 
to get mad about it. 

Professor Hugo Miinsterberg, of Harvard Uni- 
versity, after years of careful research has de- 
cided that women form their opinions and judgments 
just as rapidly and accurately as men. Thanks for 
that small concession, kind sir! It is so unexpected! 

The women anti-suffragists have just held their 
first convention, while the suffragists have had them 
by the hundreds. Now let the antis get ^up one 
parade and match it against the more than a thou- 
sand suffrage parades on May 2d, to prove that "the 

vast majority of women do not want to vote." 

* * 

A speaker at the annual convention of the Na- 
tional Municipal Leagues takes President Wilson 
to task because his "History of the American Peo- 
ple" scarcely mentions women. Why single out the 
President's for what is common to all histories? The 
women ought to get even by writing histories them- 
selves and leaving out the men. That is almost 
though not quite the case in the history of woman 
suffrage, but the men are mentioned whenever they 
vote it down. 

17 



"The cause of equal suffrage is so one with civ- 
ilization and humanity that I wonder any civilized 
man can be against it," is the latest utterance of 
William Dean Howells on the question. He was 
careful not to say "civilized woman," because he 
did not want to hurt the feelings of the Anti-Suf- 
frage Association. 

The president of the Arizona Federation of 
Women's Clubs said, in a recent speech, "It requires 
courage to be a good statesman and only nerve to 
be a good politician." To apply this formula to 
suffrage — it requires only nerve to be a good anti- 
suffragist, but one really has to wonder where they 
get enough of it. 

A six-foot woman who has recently been ap- 
pointed purser on a Hudson River boat is opposed 
to suffrage because she does not feel equal to the 
burden and she thinks it would tend to make women 
take men's jobs away from them. Her picture in 
the papers should be labeled "The Typical Anti- 
Suffragist, an Unconscious Humorist." 

* * 

One member of the lower House of Congress ob- 
tained unanimous consent that another member's 
eulogy on his dog should be printed in the Congres- 
sional Record. Worse stuff probably has gone into 
that Record; but if two women members of the 
Legislature in some of those Western States had 
been guilty of this performance wouldn't the coun- 
try have rung with their unfitness for office? 

18 



The reformers say that when woman is economic- 
ally independent she will be free to do the "propos- 
ing." Perhaps then she won't want to. 

* * 

A man has started to walk with a donkey from 
Maine to Oregon on an election bet. The photog- 
raphers should label their pictures, "Find the man." 

Great Britain has solved the race-suicide problem. 
Hereafter the parents, where either is insured, will 
get thirty shillings for each new baby. What a 
simple solution ! What a magnificent recompense ! 
The little island won't hold the infants. 

The judge of the Chicago Domestic Relations 
Court gives six reasons for the trouble in married 
life, and one of them is the interference of mothers- 
in-law. If it were not for the other five reasons, 
there would probably not be so much necessity for 
mothers-in-law to interfere. 

The Anti-Suffrage Association is very desirous 
of adopting a color for its very own, but thus far 
has found that all in the rainbow and out of it have 
been pre-empted by the innumerable suffrage 
societies. The "antis" over in England had just 
such a difficulty, but finally decided on blue and 
black. Then they had made a button and on it 
placed the head of a dear little chee-ild ; but when 
the black and blue infant made its appearance, it 
was received by the suffragists with such screams 
of laughter and proffers of sympathy that it suddenly 
vanished and was never seen again. 

19 



In Denmark the men police are going on a strike, 
because the new women police are to have a higher 
salary than men get when they begin. There is 
nothing strange about this news, except that Den- 
mark should pay women such salaries. 

* * 

A woman office-holder who is getting a $4,500 
salary says : '"No, I am not a suffragist. Why should 
I want to vote? Men have always been mighty good 
to me." Prosperity sometimes does affect people 
that way — makes them so nearsighted they can't see 
what is happening to their neighbors. 

* * 

There doesn't seem to be any particular reason 
why four or five women should have been guests 
of honor at the annual banquet of the Police Lieu- 
tenants' Benevolent Association, but they just sat 
up there and sang. "We're here because we're here." 
And that isn't the worst of it — they're going to be 
everywhere else and the men who don't like it will 
have to go to the edge of the earth and jump off. 

* * 

The president of the New York Press Club in 
talking lately to a woman's society on suffrage said : 
"Keep within the sex line. I and the men behind 
me will never forgive you if you step outside of 
that line!" Is it an5^thing like the bread line? And 
how are women to know if they fail to toe the mark 
exactly? They are as far now from what was 
originally considered the "sex line" as if it was the 
equator and they were at the poles aind yet the men 
seem to have forgiven them. 

20 



If the New York women keep on rolling up that 
big suffrage fund the men will feel it their bounden 
duty to take over the management of the amend- 
ment campaign. 

A New Jersey woman has been obliged to get a 
divorce because her husband was so "inordinately 
fond of dress" that he spent all his earnings on his 
clothes. Vanity and foolishness know no sex. 

* * 

New York State has 101.2 men to every 100 
women. That extra one and two-tenths of a man 
ought to make it entirely possible to give a vote to 
women without fear of changing the style of sex 

domination. 

* * 

Some of the men are angry because the women 
said they are going to ride in the Washington suf- 
frage parade with an imbecile, an insane person and 
a convict. The men say that the only time a woman 
should keep such company is on election day. 

* * 

With an amendment for full suffrage pending in 
a certain State, the opponents believe in nipping any 
voting tendencies in the bud); so the district attorney 
announces that any woman giving a tea party to 
induce other women to come out and register for 
the school election, at which women can vote, will 
be prosecuted under the corrupt practices act. Of 
course then he will prosecute the ward bosses who 
round up the men in the back rooms of saloons to 
arrange for their registering and voting. Or is it 
only drinking tea that is a corrupt practice? 

21 



In Missouri there are 141 unmarried men to 100 
unmarried women. It seems as if every woman 
there ought to be able to get a husband, but perhaps 
some of them are particular. 

* * 

Some of those husbands who stay out late nights 
are surprised that the suffragists find it necessary 
to have so many classes for training inexperienced 
speakers. 

Winston Churchill mispronounced a Greek word 
in the House of Commons lately, to the consterna- 
tion of its members. Imagine the commotion in the 
House of Representatives at Washington if a mem- 
ber should make a mistake in his Greek ! 

* * 

"Our only problem now," says the national anti- 
suffrage president, "is, Can we make the negative 
majority large enough to keep the voters from hav- 
ing to vote on it again for twenty-five years?" No 
use to waste any time and money figuring on that 
problem. The answer is, It can't be done. 

One of the New York Supreme Court justices, in 
adjourning a case against a woman recently, said, 
"My sex has been deceiving the other sex since the 
day of Adam." There has always been a suspicion 
that in that little transaction in the Garden of Eden 
it was Adam himself who- was deceived. Since then 
possibly the men have been trying to get even, but 
it looks nowadays as if the women were beginning 
to claim their share from the tree of knowledge, 
and deceiving them was not quite so easy. 

22 



The only "perfect woman" has been found at 
Cornell University. To find perfect ladies visit a 
bargain counter, 

* * 

A noted astrologer has seen in the stars victories 
for woman suffrage in many States. The "antis" 
see stars every time there is a new victory; but 
when they pick themselves up they never make 
any forecast of the future. 

* % 

Cuban women are organizing for the suffrage and 
a flourishing society already exists in Hawaii. 
Truly the anti-suffragists are kept so busy these 
days trying to stem the tide they are obliged to 
forget that a woman's place is at home. 

* * 

The candidates on the primary-election tickets in 
New York all had numbers opposite their names, 
so that voters who couldn't read or remember car- 
ried the numbers of their choice into the polling- 
booth and copied them on the ballot. It almost 
seems as if women might have intelligence enough 
to perform a feat like that. 

A tablet has been discovered in Babylonia, record- 
ing that the first world was created by a woman, 
and the male gods, growing tired of it, wiped it out 
by a flood and created another. There is a nice 
thing about this record — it has no account of Eve's 
eating the apple and bringing sin into the new crea- 
tion. This removes one charge against woman and 
puts it up to man to account for the large amount 
of wickedness that has crept into his world. 

23 



That English anti-suffrage mother had no right 
to feel insulted when her "mihtant" daughter sent 
her a post-card with the ope word "doormat" written 
on it. Wasn't it the English writer, Dinah Mulock, 
who said women ought to be satisfied to be doormats 
in their husband's home? 

There seems to be' some mild excitement over the 
question whether a woman should be allowed to 
write "Mrs." before her name when she is really 
"Miss." The chief effect would be on the men, who 
are much more chesty before the unmarried women 
that believe them to be heroes than before the 
married, who know they are not. 

A Philadelphia clergyman says that "women's 
clubs are the instruments of the devil." With sev- 
eral million women enrolled in them. His Satanic 
Majesty should have a large working force; but 
it's odd that every one of them seems to be trying 
to improve something or somebody. Maybe the 
minister meant to say men's clubs. 

The Business Women's League of Nashville, with 
three hundred members, has united with the Equal 
Suffrage League to move on the Legislature. Ap- 
parently they have never heard from the lady "antis" 
what a hindrance the ballot will be to the working 
woman but it is not yet too late for the "antis" to 
save her from "impending doom," in the classic 
language of their president. 

24 



The anti-suffrage women are boasting of the co- 
operation they receive from men. Sure — they are 
playing the game for the men! 

* * 

Secretary Lane, of the Interior Department, says 
there will be no Indian man without the suffrage 
when he goes out of office. The surprising thing is 
that previous administrations have allowed a male 
of any sort to escape having it thrust upon him. 

* * 

The wizard of Hoboken announces that the zodi- 
acal sign of Sagittarius signifies that woman suf- 
frage will be successful. Yes, all signs point that 
way ; but is there anything in the zodiac to in- 
dicate when? 

* * 

Why is it that as soon as women get the suffrage 
in any State they are called upon to clean up the 
cities and purify politics? As men have always 
been held to be so much better qualified to vote than 
women, the latter ought to find every city a Spot- 
less Town and the political atmosphere too rarefied 
to breathe in safety. 

The college girls all marry, according to recent 
statistics. They have to pass laws in many States 
to prevent school teachers from marrying. You 
Ccn hardly keep a trained nurse single until her 
patient gets well. Stenographers go like hot cakes. 
The only girls that seem to have trouble in getting 
married are the old fashioned, womanly kind that 
do the sweetly domestic acts in the seclusion of the 
home. 

25 



At the big dinner given in New York for the Men 
and Religion Forward Movement the dean of Yale 
Theological School said : "The Church must have 
men because men are militant." Go to : isn't it 
militancy that is ruining the Women and Suffrage 
Forward Movement ? 

Ex-President Eliot, of Harvard, anti-suffragist, 

says, "Women are better adapted to work for the 

human beings of the future than men are." Yes. 

and as there wouldn't be any human beings of the 

future if it were not for women it almost seems 

as if they were of enough importance to have a 

vote. 

* * 

Why should the advocates of woman suffrage be 
criticised for trying to defeat members of Congress 
who are opposed to it when all of the parties do 
their best to prevent the election of their opponents? 
If the suffragists did not try to keep their enemies 
out of Congress they wouldn't have political sense 
enough to vote. 

The corporation counsel of the District of Co- 
lumbia has ruled that the new eight-hour law for 
women applies to those who do mechanical work 
in a newspaper office, but not to those who do brain 
work. He probably considers that those big, forty- 
page papers are a greater strain on hands than 
brains, and it sure does seem like that when you 
try to read them. 

26 



"As for me, I defy you women. Come and meet 
me on the stump." Such were the brave words of 
a New York alderman, and from that moment 
Ajax defying the lightning was simply not in it. 

All over the country ministers are giving sermons 
in favor of woman suffrage. Why don't the "antis" 
get some of them to preach against it? Surely a few 
can be found who would dare to do it! 

Mrs. John Martin, opposed to a vote because it 
vvill turn women from matrimony, says that "soon 
the only women to marry will be the infirm and the 
idiotic." The anti-suffragists will continue to be 
eligible, won't they? 

Ex-President Eliot has come to the front again 
to declare that there wasn't any Garden of Eden 
or Adam or Eve. All right. Then Eve didn't eat 
the apple and bring sin into the world; therefore 
that objection to giving the ballot to the women 
of the United States is null and void. 

Just at the psychical moment when the Alienist and 
Neurologist, a St. Louis publication, devoted several 
pages to prove that the "cave man is the type 
.women adore" and that "the bigger the brute, the 
more a woman clings to him," a New York wife took 
a 200-pound husband by the ear and led him to the 
police station, and one the same size in Chicago 
had his wife arrested for cruel and inhuman treat- 
ment. It looks as if the women themselves were 
trying the role of the cave man. 

27 



Have a Father's Day, by all means, if any of them 
feel slighted; but wouldn't a "night" be more ap- 
propriate ? 

* * 

They say that a stenographer is the only woman 
to whom a man can dictate these days. Is that the 
reason so many men marry their stenographers? 

* * 

The New York suffragists are hunting for some 
means of moving Senators Root and O'Gorman to 
favor their amendment. They might try an earth- 
quake. 

* * 

The manager of a large school for the athletic 
training of girls says he has a number of pupils 
who can "heave a weight' one hundred and eighty 
feet." It almost seems that if women can do that 
they ought to have the physical strength to heave 
a ballot into a box. 



The anti-suffrage ladies mourned over the wom- 
en's peace parade because it showed such a "thirst 
for publicity." Yes ; those timid, shrinking creatures 
themselves wouldn't do a thing except parade up 
and down the streets wearing a big American Beauty 
rose to attract attention to their being "antis ;" open 
headquarters in conspicuous places, call mass meet- 
ings and orate from the platform, besiege Congress 
and Legislatures, attend political conventions and go 
before the committees and send their representatives 
all over the country to conduct a publicity campaign 
against the suffragists. Oh, yes, they're "shrinking" 
all right — getting smaller every day. 

28 



"If women go into politics, who will do their 
work?" wail the "antis." The men can do it, as 
they've already taken most of it away from the home. 

* * 

How could anybody wish the poor congressmen 
a Happy New Year when they had to begin it 
by voting on woman suffrage? 

* * 

The churches and the social-uplift societies seem 
to have almost as much trouble in stopping the 
tango as the government does in putting an end 
to the snake dances among the Indians. 

That new woman fire inspector in New York re- 
ported in one week thirty-seven violations of the 
law. The next thing she knows she will lose her 
job. 

A hen at the Agricultural College of Oregon has 
laid 283 eggs this year, while the roosters stood 
around and crowed; and a cow in Michigan has 
given 18,733 pounds of milk, while the — but why 
specialize in order to prove the superior value of 
"the female of the species?" 

Miss Julia Lathrop, head of the National Chil- 
dren's Bureau, says, "The anti-suffragists are like 
the hypnotized chickens which balk at a chalk line 
when there is nothing beyond." Yes-, and after the 
ballot is actually given to women they are just like 
chickens when some corn is dropped the other side 
of the chalk line. 

29 



French annuity companies have discovered that 
women live twenty years longer than men, and now 
they propose to give women a choice of dying young 
or having their premiums raised. 

"If my mother-in-law comes to heaven, I'll leave," 
wrote a New Orleans man, just before he committed 
suicide. Doubtless she will speed the parting 

guest. 

* * 

It is too bad that members of the European 
nobility cannot come over- here to hunt grizzly 
bears without being accused of seeking a rich wife, 
but perhaps it is because their graces and lordships 
have so long considered American heiresses as game. 

* * 

Chicago women say that when they had to go 
to the City Hall before they got the ballot the 
officials there were polite but now they are cordial. 
In other words women without a vote are tolerated ; 
with it, they are welcomed. Unfortunately many 
women don't know the difference. 

* * 

Morrison I. Swift, lecturing on the "Humanist 
Forum," whatever that may be, says, "Women are 
amazingly incompetent to bring up children, have 
no special aptitude for it and it is doubtful whether 
they have any real liking for it." So? Well, per- 
haps men had better try their hand at it for a while; 
but any woman who ever left father in charge for 
a few hours and remembers the general chaos she 
found on her return has her doubts as to man's 
aptitude along this line. 

30 



"Woman's closer relation to the machinery of 
government is inexpedient," says the chairman of the 
New York anti-suffrage press committee. Well, if 
she takes out an accident policy she might run the 
risk of watching to see that it doesn't slip so many 

cogs. 

* * 

An army of suffragists have just ended a 400- 
mile walk from Edinburgh to present a suffrage peti- 
tion to Prime Minister Asquith. The suffragette 
way is quicker — they just wrap it around a stone 
and throw it through his window. Both branches 
of the movement seem to have proved that they 
possess the physical strength to cast a ballot. 

* * 

The health commissioner of New York is deter- 
mined that all the restaurants and hotel dining- 
rooms shall display signs telling how much benzoate 
of soda and similar stuff there is in the pastry. It 
is often asked why men make so much better cooks 
than women but no such signs were ever necessary 
on the pies that mother used to make. 

Irvin Cobb told them at the Kentucky dinner that 
"the reason woman suffrage is not a success in his 
State is that woman can never be man's equal 
because she is always his superior." That remark 
has a sort of "befo' the wah" flavor. Women accept 
man's word that they are much his superior but 
when they get the ballot they will try to improve 
his status. 

31 



A "mere man" complains in a Chicago paper that 
"men have dwindled in importance in the eyes of 
women." Don't worry! They are just as important 
as ever in their own eyes. 

* * 

The pugilists of California are so mad because 

prize fights are prohibited that they are going to 

move out of the State to spite the women who 
did it. 

The Los Angeles woman police officer who is 
touring the Eastern States gives as one great ad- 
vantage of woman suffrage that men no longer have 
to go down town to talk politics. A good many 
men would consider that an argument against it. 

* * 

The secretary of state for New York is willing 
to concede a good deal to women, but insists on the 
"physical superiority" of men. Then how do all 
life insurance statistics happen to show that women 
live to a much greater age than men? 

* * 

Dr. Forbes Ross, an eminent English physician, 
has discovered that in two thousand years the men 
will have degenerated into gorillas. The women can 
save the race, he says, but not if they insist on the 
vote. The women will probably answer that they 
will take the vote now and run the risk of the 
gorillas two thousand years hence. And, when one 
comes to think of it, after the treatment the suf- 
fragists in England have received from some of the 
present generation of men, gorillas would have no 
terrors for them ! 

32 



Another English doctor heard from ! This one 
deprecates the present style of dress because "it 
does away with the mystery in women, which is 
greatly against their own interests." Let the doctor 
calm himself — woman will always be enough of a 
mystery to keep the men busy guessing. 



A Florida woman writes to the National Suffrage 
Association for permission to organize a troop of 
cavalry women, arm them with light rifles and send 
them to the Legislature to get a suffrage bill. The 
Southern women have been rather slow to get started 
but when they do they will go on horseback where 
the Northern women have gone on foot. 

The chivalry of medieval times was of poor quality 
compared with the brand they have in Kansas. A 
man out there was too chivalrous to stand as can- 
didate for an office when he found his opponent was 
a woman. This is a vast improvement on going to 
war with your lady's handkerchief on the point of 
your spear. 

On the adjournment of Congress, when the men 
who had been fighting each other for months and 
using language that had to be expunged from the 
Record fell on one another's necks and wept and 
sang "Blest be the tie that binds" — it was then 
the women in the gallery realized that their sex 
is far too emotional and hysterical ever to make 
the laws for the nation. 

33 



Alexander Graham Bell says in his letter on 
eugenics, "Always remember that you are marrying 
a family, not a person." Alas, yes; and if you forget 
it you are very apt to be reminded of it afterward. 

Now that President Wilson has received Colonel 
Harvey and Colonel Watterson with open arms he 
ought to be ready to do the Abraham act with 
the suffragists. 

It cost $11.40 a piece to register voters in 
Greater New York for the spring election. Will 
those who are clamoring for a referendum of the 
suffrage question to women themselves at a special 
election please state who will foot the bill? 

* * 

Dr. Mary Walker is greatly digusted with the 
suffragists for making so much fuss to obtain a 
right which is already guaranteed to them under 
the Constitution. If she really believes this let 
her try to cast a vote at the next election. There 
is always room in jail for one more. 

The Anti-Suffrage Association has issued "The 
Woman's Creed," which says, "I believe in making 
every effort to protect the good name of our Ameri- 
can men from the attacks of the suffragists." Bless 
their soft, little Fiearts ! One would think from their 
litteratoor that the suffragists hadn't any men of 
their own that they would fight to the last ditch 
for if necessary. What the "antis" should do is to 
protect men from the blandishments of the suffra- 
gists after their votes. 

34 



As man has only fourteen pockets in his clothes 
the tailors are now putting in another, a secret one, 
where he can hide his money from his wife. As it 
is only the size of a watch pocket she won't grudge 
him the contents; besides she will know where it 
is located almost as soon as he does himself. 



An "inspired" article says that there are signs of 
a revolt among the wives in nearly all the royal 
families of Europe and that "it is because the ideas 
of Mrs. Pankhurst have permeated the circles of 
royalty." If Mrs. Pankhurst had accomplished no 
more than this, she would deserve all the honors 
her followers claim for her. 

The president of a New York club said in her ad- 
dress to the City Federation the other day, "You 
neglect culture and buzz around too much; you 
should set aside ten minutes every day to meditate 
on something refining and ennobling." Like that 
speech, for instance; but isn't ten minutes a day an 
awful lot of time to spend on culture? 

The 140,000 members of the Woman Suffrage 
Party in New York City are balloting for their 
officers in the different districts. The Anti-Suffrage 
State Society announces that it is increasing at the 
rate of one thousand a month. This proves that 
in one hundred and forty months it will catch up 
v/i'th the city party, provided the latter doesn't add 
any new members. 

35 



The most important thing in regard to the can- 
didacy of that woman from Kansas who is running 
for Congress is that it shows there is no constitu- 
tional barrier to women members of Congress. All 
they have to do is to get elected. 

The anti-feminists have always related with great 
joy that it is the female mosquito which does the 
biting, but scientists have now learned that the 
reason the male of the species refrains is because 
he has nothing to bite with. 

At the next registration in Montana after women 
were enfranchised, there was a sprinting match to 
see who would be enrolled first ; but sad to relate 
it was won by the two leaders of the anti-suffrage 
movement. 

* * 

A fashion periodical offers a large salary to a 
young man who understands the entire subject of 
a woman's clothes and can edit a woman's maga- 
zine. As has been often remarked, women are in- 
vading men's domain and crowding them out of 
their legitimate work ! 

The first Anti-Suffrage Association in the United 
States or any other country was organized in Massa- 
chusetts in 1884. It has labored diligently ever since 
with the excellent result that both houses of the 
Legislature have voted by immense majorities to sub- 
mit the question to the electors. If the "antis" will 
do their leyel best, it may pull through at the polls. 

36 



Dr. Hugh Cabot, of Puritan Boston, says that "if 
women want men to reform, they must cease to 
tempt them." Maybe so, the poor things ! but how 
did they ever happen to be called "the stronger sex" ? 

* * 

The Guidon Anti-Suffrage Club of New York is 
devoting itself to a study of the Bible. Nobody 
needs the consolations of religion quite so much 
just now as the anti-suffragists. 

^:- * 

That dull thud which was heard in the direction 
of Springfield, 111., was Senator Shaw, of Decatur, 
being dropped from his committee chairmanships 
because he presented a resolution to repeal the 
woman suffrage law. 

. The wife of Congressman Taylor, of Colorado, 
says the women of that State have found that it 
does not take as long to vote as it does to match a 
piece of silk. It is to be hoped not or the worst 
fears of the "antis" as to the neglect of the -home 
and family would be more than realized. 

Sir Almoth Wright says that women ask for 
the suffrage because they "have not been taught the 
defects and limitations of the feminine mind." This 
is not because Sir A. W. and men of his stripe 
haven't wasted a good deal of more or less valuable 
time pointing them out; but in another chapter he 
says, "Failure to recognize that man is the master 
lies at the root of the suffrage movement," and to 
this the women plead guilty when they c?n stop 
laughing. ^ 

37 



The French courts have decided that a married 
woman may spend as much on clothes as the rent 
of her home. If she lived in New York she could 
dress like the Queen of Sheba. 

The big council of the Chippewas in Wisconsin 
recently declared for woman suffrage. The Indians 
know what it is to be without a vote; they are not 
like the chesty white men, who never did a thing 
to earn one and therefore don't want to share it. 

* * 

A New York paper said, after the recent primary 
elections, that "the people seemed inflexibly deter- 
mined not to rule." Before this statement is ac- 
cepted give that half of the people a chance who 
have been trying to get it since 1848. 

Miss Ida Tarbell says, "I don't take much interest 
in magazines for women only, as I am incapable of 
differentiating women from the human race." It is 
only when it comes to having the right of individ- 
ual representation that Miss Tarbell would differ- 
entiate women from the rest of the human race. 

* * 

At the anti-suffrage headquarters opened in Wash- 
ington at the time* of the parade they announced that 
during the first four days two thousand persons 
registered. Some of the suffrage mathematicians 
figured out that this would mean a registration of 
more than one person every minute for eight hours 
of every day — a manifest absurdity. It seems some- 
times as if the sole object of the suffragists was 
to be disagreeable. 

38 



The Sir Almoth Wright who has recently written 
a book on woman suffrage which can't be men- 
tioned in good society is the same individtfal who 
last year put forth a treatise against taking a bath ; 
but really he should have allowed an exception after 
reading his book. 



The "antis" say that when legislators favor woman 
suffrage because they think the women will vote 
for them, they forget the women who don't want it 
and will vote against them to get even. True, and 
they don't take into account what a tremendous 
power these women are already with their "indi- 
rect influence." 



The egg crop is said to be worth as much to the 
country financially as the cotton crop and far more 
than the wheat crop, and women to be responsible 
for nine-tenths of the poultry crop. It might also 
be said that the hens are responsible for all of it 
but they don't belong to the sex that does the 
crowing. 



What are the women coming to? A man jumps 
up in the midst of an eloquent speech by the presi- 
dent of the National Suffrage Association and asks 
her to marry him, and she answers that she would 
rather have a vote than a husband ! The time was 
when a woman would rather have a husband; but 
then she never had had a chance to know the value 
of a vote. 

39 



According to the society notes our women will 
now have to wear gowns made by American dress- 
makers*. All right; it doesn't matter who mak a 
woman's dress if only they will make enough of it. 

* * 

Sensible women are terribly mortified sometimes 
as they look at the fashion illustrations in the Sun- 
d?.y papers, but when they turn to the next page 
and see the baseball pictures they feel that in the 
ridiculous women have been outclassed. 

Mrs. Havelock Ellis, an English woman lecturing 
in this country, advises all women to refuse to kiss 
their husbands until they get the suffrage. This 
would be somewhat risky, as getting the suffrage i 
a slow process and meanwhile the husbands might 
go elsewhere for their kisses. 

"Let us, oh, let us hold fast to monogamy ! " wail 
the "antis." "Scientists believe it is the normal and 
natural relationship of humans." Then don't be 
alarmed, for even woman suffrage cannot entirely 
destroy what is natural and normal. One husband, 
one wife. All right. Now let every "anti" catch h 
husband — if she can. 

The leader of the suffrage forces in Chicago says 
that "to appeal to American men's sense of justice 
is all women have to do in order to obtain fair 
dealing," and the Indianapolis News comments : 
"That's the way to get results — flatter the brutes !" 
Yes, the Michigan women recently tried it and they 
got results all right. 

40 



No, the public has been too thoroughly hard- 
ened by the present styles in women's dress to 
be frightened at anything that may happen if hoop 
skirts come in again. 

Boston's new mayor has dismissed all the women 
employes from the office, on the ground that "it is 
not a fit place for women," Probably he knows 
what kind of a place it is going to be from now on. 

In a temperance play running in New York the 
husband asks, "Where is my wandering wife 
tonight?" The answer of course should be, "At a 
suffrage meeting," for women never neglect their 
homes for any other purpose. 

* * 

A good many people always seem to be in doubt, 
along at inauguration time, as to how the great 
Jefferson got up to the Capitol. It is to be hoped 
the gentleman himself knew whether he was afoot 
or on horseback on that auspicious occasion. 

The anti-suffragists have issued a ton or so of 
literature to show that the constitution of women 
can never endure the nervous strain of voting. Now 
the presidents of the State medical associations 
in all the States where women have been voting 
from two to forty-five years have signed a state- 
ment that if anything has happened to their constitu- 
tions their family physicians haven't discovered it. 
The "antis" are playing in hard luck — every time 
they start out a nice little theory it runs up against 
a fact and is smashed to splinters. 

41 



Some time ago the women of Larned, Kan., 
met and resolved to use horsewhips on the profes- 
sional gamblers if they did not leave the town. Now 
they have not exactly turned their spears into prun- 
ing hooks, but they have exchanged their horsewhips 
for ballots, and when they tell the gamblers to leave 
town they will gather up their outfit and go. 

* * 

Some men are making an effort nowadays to scare 
women out of their independence by letting them 
stand in the street cars ; but the women answer that 
they are better able to stand than many of the men 
they see sitting down, and that, according to sta- 
tistics, a woman has a good many more years to ride 
on street cars than men have. 

* * 

"We stand for an economic system which will 
enable every man to support a family so that wom- 
en need not go outside the home to work," say the 
Socialists. A good idea; but suppose some men 
wouldn't use their earnings that way, and some 
women would rather work outside and support 
themselves than to do the same amount of work 
inside and have to be supported? 

"The action of the Federation of Clubs at their 
biennial, indorsing woman suffrage," says Mrs. 
Dodge, national president of the "antis," "was a clear 
case of g?.g rule in a packed convention." Well, if 
the suffragists could "pack" a convention to the 
extent of ninety-eight per cent, and "gag" two thou- 
sand delegates they are certainly almost clever 
enough to vote. 

43 



The woman who recently climbed to the top of 
Harvard Glacier in Alaska is a strong suffragist. 
Seems as if it would have to be a cold day when 
she was not able to go to the polls. 

* * 

New York's Alderman Quinn objects to woman 
suffrage because it would make monkeys of the 
men. Don't worry — a lot of them haven't waited 
for woman suffrage. 

A young "efficiency expert" in Chicago tells his 
audiences that because a woman's heart is in matri- 
mony she is and always will be a failure in busi- 
ness. Give her a chance, son ! Business is ^a matter 
of the head. 

Under the English poor law medicine cannot be 
supplied to a sick wife unless her husband makes? 
application for it, and if he can't or won't support 
her the almshouse will not receive her unless he will 
come along. To understand the reason for the 
suffragette movement over there, read the laws. 

* * 

Those clever antis ! What wonderful research 
work they are doing! Having discovered that 
woman suffrage has led to polygamy in Wyoming. 
Colorado, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, California, 
Arizona, Kansas, Nevada, Montana and Illinois, they 
have now found, according to their official state- 
ment, that it means "the deliberate return to sav- 
agery." Alas, yes ! one can hear the war whoops 
even now — they sound like the suffragists celebrating 
a victory! 

43 



Frenchmen often express great sympathy for the 
wife-ruled American husband, but they can't point 
to a case over here where wives have a quarrel 
and then stand their husbands up to fight a duel 
in order to settle it. 

Congress treats women better than their fore- 
fathers did, for rather than pay taxes they destroyed 
the women's favorite beverage — tea — and held onto 
rum ; but Congress has taxed beer and whiskey to 
the limit and left the women their soft drinks. 

The New York Tribu>ne congratulates the country 
that the 'American woman is not trying to be a man. 
The very idea! As if women, having almost reached 
the top step, would deliberately turn around and 
tumble to the bottom ! 

The anti-suffragists have declared officially thet 
they "recognize man as the head of the nation's 
household." All right, he is welcome to sit at the 
head of the table; but that doesn't mean that the 
rest of the family must not have anything to eat. 

* * 

The Chicago American allows the women to get 
out a "suffrage" edition and they clean up a neat 
little profit of $15,000 for the "cause." The New 
York Hippodrome gives the suffragists a benefit per- 
formance and their treasury can't hold the profits. 
Seems as if we never hear of any anti-suffrage spe- 
cial editions or theater benefits. Wouldn't anybody 
buy or go? 

44 



All the pilots and captains on the Panama Canal 
are now required to be teetotalers. Pretty soon 
they will be forbidden to swear, and then Colonel 
Goethals will have to get women to run his boats. 

* * 

President John Adams is said to have declared 
that "politics are the devil's own," but that was 
when "they" belonged entirely to the masculine half 
of the population. 

A London physical-culture professor has an- 
nounced that it is possible for every woman to have 
as perfect a figure as the Venus de Milo. If it is 
to be so common as that, the most of them would 
prefer to look like somebody else. 

* * 

They do say that out in those Western States 
husband and wife frequently vote the same ticket 
to avoid discord in the family, but it is not always 
the ticket which the husband thought he was going 
to vote when they began discussing the matter. 

A number of States have enacted a law 
that men who are physically unable to get to the 
polls may send their ballots by mail. This should 
dispose of the objection that the franchise must 
not be given to women because so much of the time 
they would not be well enough to go to the polling 
place. Incidentally, if men are not able to get to 
the polls, they are not able to fight, and therefore, 
if women must not be allowed to vote because they 
cannot fight, then these incapacitated men should 
be disfranchised. 

45 



The National Women's Anti-Suffrage Association 
announces that it spent less than $10,000 in the 
seven campaign States last fall. Why should it 
waste even that much good money when the other 
branches of the opposition were amply able to 
furnish hundreds of thousands and did so? 



"Oh, suffragists, do you know that if you succeed 
the future men will be one-sided mongrels in nature 
and education, having had two fathers and no 
mother?" (Anti-suffrage document.) Good gracious! 
Just to think they've got 'em like that in those 
Western States, and the rest of the country doesn't 
even know it ! 

When the women of a certain church in Brook- 
lyn ask for a voice in its affairs they are told that 
St. Paul commanded women to keep silent in the 
churches; but when they take up the calendar 
Sunday morning they find a request from the 
deacons to take off their hats. They are now in- 
sisting that Paul and the deacons come to an 
understanding. 

Leaders of the anti-suffragists insist that women 
shall not be enfranchised against their protest, but 
when all the big organizations of women in the 
country are asking for it, who is making the pro- 
test? What is the matter with that ninety per cent, 
the antis claim to represent that they can't speak 
up? Ninety per cent, can make a great deal more 
noise than ten. 

46 



President Wilson said the last session of Congress 
accomplished so much simply by "sawing wood." 
He was careful. not to add, "and saying nothing." 

John Redmond and his followers want home rule 
for Ireland but they don't intend that those who 
rule the home shall have any part in it. 

* * 

The entire State of Kansas is quarantined because 
of the foot-and-mouth disease. This is the strongest 
argument against woman suffrage that the "antis" 
have been able to find for a long time. 

"Persons who try to stop the woman suffrage 
movement," said a Chicago elections commissioner, 
"are in the position of a man throwing himself in 
front of a locomotive." Well, they always expect 
that the bosses who run the political machines will 

apply the brake. 

* * 

The latest government report from New Zealand, 
where women have voted twenty-one years, shows 
that, while the population has doubled in thirty 
years, the number of men in prison has increased 
only from 631 to 853, and the number of w;omen 
prisoners has decreased from 94 to 64. It seems 
from these figures that woman suffrage in New 
Zealand did not double the criminal vote and did not 
produce a reign of anarchy and crime. Perhaps it 
is only in the United States and in those of the 
States where it has never been tried that it will have 
this effect. Still the "antis" should bolster up their 
charge with a statistic or two. 

47 



The Keith and Proctor circuits forbid any bur- 
lesquing of the suffragists. That's right, and the 
anti-suffragists give their own continuous vaudeville 
performances. 

One little woman in the big Woolworth Building 
in New York manages the electrical apparatus for 
running twenty-eight elevators — and yet some people 
think a woman hasn't nerve enough to drop a 
ballot in a box. 

Gertrude Atherton says, "Women politicians will 
be just like men politicians — no better, no worse," 
We knew, of course, that they couldn't be any — 
well, we had hoped they might prove to be a little 
better. 

* * 

"Young women," said Representative Bowdle, of 
Cincinnati, in the suffrage debate, "will beware of 
this movement, which positively destroys all fem- 
inine charm and deters young men from marriage." 
'Loud applause by the sixty-seven married mem- 
bers from the twelve States where women vote.) 

* * 

Before and after taking was strikingly illustrated 
by the Missouri Legislature in its action on the 
woman-suffrage amendment. The senate adjourned 
to the assembly chamber to hear the women present 
their case. The committee reported unanimously in 
favor. Both houses adopted the report by large 
majorities. Then St. Louis suddenly got busy and 
the Legislature rescinded its action ! It heard its 
master's voice! 

48 



By a new law voters in Nebraska can send their 
ballots through the mail when necessary. This 
answers the question, Who will care for the baby 
when mother votes? Mother will and Uncle Sam 
will deposit her ballot. Anti-suffs knocked out 
again ! 

The doctors are now admonishing the women 
that if they keep on with the present style of tight- 
fitting hats and headbands nothing can save them 
from baldness. Women have been listening to this 
kind of prophecy for several generations and yet 
have kept their hair on; but when they look about 
they observe that nearly all the men are baldheaded. 

Representatives of nearly all the organizations of 
women in Chicago are demanding that places shall 
be given to women on the boards of education, of 
parks and of libraries. How can they do it when 
they see how splendidly all matters connected with 
the municipality are managed by men? Women 
don't seem to be showing that old-time admiration 
and trust which used to be their greatest charm. 

The Simple Life and Open Air Exposition in 
London is exhibiting the Fully Furnished Man, who 
carries on his person all the necessities of life 
except food. That is nothing to be proud of. All the 
other animals have done this ever since they ceased 
to belong to the vegetable kingdom. The only diffi- 
culty will be to keep this new kind of man out of 
civilized society. 

49 



Why try to get acquainted with the people on 
Mars, when we have so little time to give to those 
we know on earth? 

* * 

It is charged that 46,000 men- have deserted from 
the regular army during the last ten years. Should 
women who are willing to fight but can't be dis- 
franchised on that account, while men who can fight 
but won't are freely granted the vote ? 

* * 

One of the Western railroads has placed a 
woman in charge of its dining car and the customary 
howl at women's usurping the work of men is now 
in order. To be sure having charge of a dining- 
room has always been considered a woman's business 
but that was only when there was no salary attached. 

"We must abolish everything that bears even the 
semblance of privilege," is the Wilson slogan. 
Thanks, Mr. President. Will you kindly get yourself 
into a state of mind where you can see that the 
possession of the suffrage by only one-half the 
people is about the most iniquitous privilege that 
could exist? 

*.* 

Mrs. Dodge, president of the Anti-Suffrage Asso- 
ciation, wants to go into the fight against suffrage 
in the next presidential campaign with 500,000 
women at her back. All right; she will need every 
one of them. But what is to become of the half- 
million families while the wives and mothers are 
marching on to victory behind Mrs. Dodge? 

50 



"Bustles" for women are to be the fashion this 
spring. Thanks for the prospect of even that 
much rehef to the helpless onlookers. 

-» * 

Mr. Croker's Indian bride says she cannot be a 
"squaw" until she is a mother. Oh, yes ; first a squall 
then a squaw. 

"The pay here," said Mayor Curley, of Boston, 
in dismissing all the women in his office, "is quite 
sufficient to maintain a man." Then how on earth 
did women ever happen to get the jobs? 

* * 

"Behind the skirts of suffragism," says an official 
statement of the "antis," "Mormonism goes to the 
polls, socialism marches red and rampant on the 
streets, and feminism stalks and swaggers in our 
homes." The old-fashioned thing — to wear skirts 
so wide as all that !. 

The Alimony Club of divorced husbands in New 
York are howling loud and long because the court 
has ruled that they must continue the payment of 
alimony even though they are kept in prison and 
can't earn a dollar. Anothe^ crowd who are out of 
jail are rending the air because they have to pay 
alimony just the same after their former spouses 
have wedded again. The fair divorcees answer that 
since only men are considered competent to make 
the laws or even to elect the lawmakers, they have no 
right to kick against the results. Its awful the little 
respect women show nowadays for the superior wis- 
dom of men ! 

51 



It is rather late in the day to warn women 
against being "jostled at the polls." That is about 
the only place where they would not get jostled. 

* * 

Paris is tired of the tango. Public opinion caused 
it to be danced too respectably. It may hold on 
awhile in the United States, we can stand a con- 
siderable amount of respectability, but not too much 
when it becomes unfashionable. 

* * 

No, Ethelyn, Lu Lu Temple is not the name of a 
woman suffrage headquarters. It is the rendezvous 
of an ancient and honorable body of men in Phila- 
delphia, where they think women are too frivolous 

to vote. 

* * 

Arkansas has now been added to the list of "dry" 
States by action of its Legislature and Wisconsin 
requires a health certificate from would-be bride- 
grooms. No woman suffrage in either State. Really 
the men are getting so good nowadays there will 
be nobody for women to reform when they obtain 
the ballot. 

The superintendent of public schools in Cincinnati 
will start "a six months' course of study for pros- 
pective brides," and besides all the usual housekeep- 
ing stunts they will be taught to calk a water pipe, 
put up shelves, mend door knobs, etc. If he isn't 
careful he will create a prospect that will scare all 
the girls away from matrimony. Women can be 
so many things nowadays besides carpenters and 
plumbers. 

52 



The New York Tribune says, "Another ten years 
and the clinging vine will be only a moist and tender 
memory." What a fortunate thing for the oak ! 

* * 

The sphygmograph is the invention of a woman 
doctor and the person who wears it cannot tell 
a lie, even to his wife. Something of this sort 
was bound to happen when women were permitted 
to enter the medical profession. 

* * 

"Feminism is the process of putting father out 
of business," is a specimen anti-suffrage epigram. 
If feminism means that able-bodied young women 
shall earn their own living, perhaps father will have 
a chance to get something ahead for his old age. 

The Reno Gazette in its fight against the suffrage 
amendment said that when a straw vote of the 
women was taken in 1895 in Massachusetts, they 
declared against enfranchisement 38 to 1. Suppose 
they did — what has that to do with the women of 
Nevada in 1914? The fact is, however, that the 
women voted in favor of it 25 to 1. Next ! 

And so the anti-suffrage ladies are going into the 
thick of the congressional fray to help elect the 
men who will promise not to give them a vote ! 
It is now in order for them to get up a street 
parade and then the suffragists won't have a thing 
on them — they will have done everything they were 
afraid they might have to do if enfranchised and 
they haven't got the ballot as a compensation for 
doing it. The joke is on them. 

53 



The ancient question, "Could women voters work 
out their road tax?" has been answered by two in 
Iowa. They did worse, for they won two out of 
three prizes offered by the county for work on 
highways. It was all right for them to do the work 
but very wrong for them to win the prizes. 

"Women never could serve on the police force," 
an anti-suffragist rushes into print to declare. 
"Could frail woman withstand, year in and year out, 
the severe climatic changes constantly occurring?" 
Well, several million of her do, as they start out each 
morning to earn their daily bread. 

The "antis" are dreadfully vexed at the suffragists 
because of their reported attempts to convert the 
women public-school teachers, the women in the 
government departments, the women wage-earners 
and women in divers other capacities. Putting it 
mildly they are like the schoolboy who wrote, "To 
sum up Daniel Webster's character — it is one which 
I do not approve!" 

Some awful things are promised in the season's 
styles for man. They are to be more expensive, 
which will require him to owe his tailor more than 
ever. Evening trousers are to be very loose so that 
he' can perpetrate the tango and turkey trot without 
accident. For the rest of the day the clothes are to 
be very tight so as to show the natural form, and 
this is where the public will start a. suffragette 
movement. 

54 



Do not criticise Mr. Bryan because he said nothing 
new in regard to woman suffrage. Everything that 
could be said was said long ago but until recently 
the political ears were very deaf and very long. 

In Chicago, before the women took a hand, the 
dispdsal of the garbage cost the city $4,000 a month; 
now it nets a profit of $3,000 a month, and yet 
people wonder why the grafters are so dead set 
against votes for women. 

* * 

The various parties seem to be having a hard 
time with the "political uplift." Some day it 
will occur to them^ that until women lend a hand 
they will be trying to lift themselves by their 
bootstraps. 

They opened a big hotel in Los Angeles a few 
rridhths ago for men only, and already they an- 
nounce that henceforth women als© will be -wel- 
comed as patrons. Funny, isn't it, when hotels 
for women only are flourishing all over the country, 
that' themen couldn't flock alone in a single one? 

Before the last committee hearing on woman suf- 
frage in Washington, Mrs. Dodge, national president 
of the "antis," announced that the members of Con- 
gress had been sufficiently bored, so to speak, and her 
forces would not appear. The love of the limelight 
was too strong, however, and there they were in 
the center of the stage, singing the old, sweet song, 
"Woman's place is at home in the bosom of her 
family." ' 

55 



The turkey trot and bunny hug have been replaced 
by the goose waddle, which is really much more 
indicative of those who dance it. 

"Love is a disease," says a Chicago doctor, "called 
anaphylaxis — lack of resistance." This is merely a 
trick of the profession to increase the number of 
their patients, but the Chicago girls dare them to 
try to cure it. 

A booth was built in New York City in a district 
where only three men voted, yet members of the 
Legislature object to giving suffrage to women be- 
cause it would require more voting booths. Who 
helps to pay for those the men use? 

The anti-suffragists have been so busy during the 
campaign running political headquarters and making 
speeches for the candidates they haven't had a minute 
to tell the suffragists that a woman's place is at home 
and that women are wholly unfitted for politics. It 
will be somewhat embarrassing for them to resume 
business at the old stand and hear the suffragists 
jeer. 

* * ■ 

When United States Senator Burton, of Ohio, 
landed from a trip to Europe not long ago and was 
asked the inevitable question about woman suffrage, 
he said, "I do not care even to express an opinion 
on such a subordinate issue." Now he says that of 
course he is going to vote for it in his State. It 
is taking a mean advantage for reporters to corral 
a great statesman on the dock before he finds out 
what has happened in his absence. 

56 



The Rothchilds are said to have given $15,000 to 
the British Anti-Suffrage Association. The vote in 
the hands of women would prove a strong factor 
in preventing the wars of the future. 

* * 

Colonel Henry Watterson declares that he has 
"written more times and at greater length against 
woman suffrage than any other editor." Maybe he 
has and maybe that is the reason it is making such 
rapid progress in his own State. 

* * 

California University girls eat ten tons of candy 
a year, according to reports; but the boys of that 
institution can't prove that they are the sweetest 
things on earth until candy statistics from the 
other colleges come in. 

Women's place is at home. Wives must make 
the home so attractive that husbands will never want 
to go out evenings. Children must be kept off the 
street. All very good; but how is the whole family 
to stay at home at the same time in a city flat of 
the average size? 

The moving-picture shows are making a specialty 
of films depicting the newly enfranchised women of 
the Western States in the act of going to the polls 
and voting, but strange to say there is not a single 
illustration of the awful things that were going to 
happen when this catastrophe took place. It seems 
odd that after the terrible predictions of fifty years 
the scene should look much like a procession going 
to church — except that there are more men in it. 

57 



"How To Be 'Smart' Though Middle-aged" is the 
title of an article that is going the rounds. The 
smartest thing the middle-aged can do is to recog- 
nize that they are middle-aged and act accordingly, 
and this applies to men as well as women. 

* * 

No woman nowadays makes the promise to obey 
in the marriage service with the slightest intention 
.of .keeping it, so why compel her to prevaricate to 
the minister? Let her reserve that privilege to 
use with her husband. .: 

* * 

The courts of Missouri have decided that a hus- 
band cannot be arrested for burning up his wife's 
clothes, as they are his, not hers; but after his 
wife learned of this decision the man soon found 
himself in jail for disturbing the peace. 

* * 

"Man is the natural protector of woman," shouted 
several thousand of the species as they attacked the 
suffrage parade in Washington. "Man is the natural 
protector of woman," echoed the policemen as they 

turned their backs. 

* * 

The "antis" ask why the suffragists are not afraid 
to trust men with the musket in time of war, but 
are afraid to trust them with the ballot? Bless 
you, nobody wants to take the ballot away from 
tliem; but the suffragists can't see how a man can 
represent more than one person with one ballot, 
ajnd, besides, some of them haven't got any man, 
and they think it isn't fair to be deprived of both 
. the; man and the vote. __, ^ ■/: . 

-58 



Recently, at an anti-suffrage meeting in one of 
those wonderfully progressive towns for which Con- 
necticut is noted, forty ladies signed a remonstrance 
against giving other women something which this 
immortal forty did not want for themselves. Where 
was AH Baba with his oil can? 

When the women watched that crowd of men in 
Madison Square Garden cheer and howl and whoop 
and yell an hour and a half for one candidate, and 
the next night a similar crowd go through the same 
performance the same length of time for another 
candidate, they fully realized that women are too 
emotional for political life. 

A great editor criticises the Washington suffra- 
gists severely because they reserved so many rooms 
for the out-of-town paraders that the inaugural 
committee couldn't find enough for its marchers. 
"They lost a great opportunity to win the new ad- 
ministration by unselfishness and sacrifice," he said, 
and the women haven't quit laughing yet. 

The president of the Woman's Club at Boise, 
Idaho, where they have had equal suffrage for 
nearly twenty years, says that "nothing puts the 
fear of God into the hearts of men like the ballot 
in the hands of women." Yes, a certain class of 
men feel much more comfortable to know that wom- 
en are using the beautiful, indirect influence of 
prayers and tears. 

59 



Sir Almoth Wright says the advocates of equal 
pay for women do not know the commercial value 
of having the employe work shoulder to shoulder 
with the employer. Yes? No? What about the 
good-looking stenographer ? 

* * 

The President of France is considering the pro- 
posal to decorate with the Cross of the Legion of 
Honor the mother of twenty-two children. Some- 
thing that could be exchanged for twenty-two pairs 
of shoes would be more appropriate. 

Seven girl students of Leland Stanford University 
have just been elected to Phi Beta Kappa and not 
one of the boys, although they outnumber the girls 
two to one. Comment would be impolite, not to 
say unfeeling. 

* •55- 

New York women have announced that the day 
for women's "auxiliaries" is past, and Chicago 
women have given notice to the men of that city 
that they will not serve on any more "sub" commit- 
tees. Really, that Declaration of Independence of 
1776 begins to seem like rather a weak document. 

* * 

Perish the thought that a minister of the Gospel — 
and especially a woman — should contest with a horse 
race! But when the Rev. Anna Shaw, president of 
the National Suffrage Association, began speaking, 
from an automobile behind the grand-stand at the 
Wisconsin State Fair, the whole crowd climbed down 
to hear her and forgot all about the races. 

60 



First fruits of woman suffrage ! A San Fran- 
cisco wife has just been granted a divorce because 
her husband talked too much ! 

Dr. Mary Walker advises girls to put on trousers. 
They might not be so pretty but they would cer- 
tainly be more modest than those things women are 
now wearing. 

The scientific world is highly excited over the 
report of the birth of an atom. Its chief interest to 
women is the effect it will have on their getting the 
suffrage, as the public insists on connecting this in 
some way with the birth rate. 

* * 

The Buffalo Express, commenting on the public 
schools teaching boys to sew, says : "Quite necessary ! 
For how will the women of the future get their 
gowns, if men do not learn to sew?" They can get 
them just as they do now — from the male dress- 
makers who got onto the woman's job as soon as 
there was any money in it. 

Women have a good deal to learn about politics. 
There was the woman candidate for mayor of San 
Diego, who announced that her first act if elected 
would be to put through an ordinance taxing bache- 
lors. Naturally the bachelors all voted against her; 
the benedicts did the same because they didn't want 
the bachelors to feel that there was such an easy 
escape from marriage, and the women turned her 
down because they thought she was quite capable of 
levying a tax on spinsters. 

61 



The public has borne with some fortitude the 
close-fitting garb of women — it has had its compen- 
sations ; but now that the National Association of 
Clothing Designers has decreed that men's clothes 
also must be tight fitting — well, if the police fail to 
do their duty the common people must rise up. 

* * 

The Supreme Court of Illinois has decided that 
the women of that State may vote for President but 
not for county commissioners. If they had a choice, 
they would much prefer to vote for the commission- 
ers, whose work comes a great deal nearer home to 
them; but the party "bosses" would rather trust 
them to vote for President as there is no local 
graft in that office. 

The national anti-suffrage president says, "The 
extent to which suffrage agitation detracts from 
charitable enterprises is appalling," How can this 
be when that lady herself assures us that the suf- 
fragists represent less than ten per cent, of the 
women? Ninety per cent, surely ought to be suffi- 
cient to do the charitable work, if they can spare 
the time from cijasing after the suffragists. 

Some men are organizing a pneumatic-tube system 
through which from a central kitchen hot meals can 
be shot to any part of the city day or night. Women 
sometimes wonder whether men intend to leave them 
any domestic duties. About the only thing un- 
touched is the nursery, but a man has invented an 
electric cradle that rocks itself, so woman will have 
to find some other way to move the world. 

62 



A Kansas City judge has ruled that linder certain 
circumstances wives may lie to their husbands. The 
latter never waited for any judicial decision. 

* * 

From the fuss made about Dr. Anna Shaw's shak- 
ing' her fist during a suffrage speech one would 
think it was the size of a sledgehammer, while really 
it is, about as big as a little red apple. 

* * 

A record has been unearthed in London, showing 
that women used to 'be plumbers in 1500. Very 
likely ; but that was before the business became so 
profitable that only men were competent to engage 
in it. 

The manager of the largest vaudeville circuit in 
the country has issued orders that there must be no 
more jokes at the expense of the woman-suffrage 
movement. Lovers of humor need not be discour- 
aged, however, for the literary bureau of the Anti- 
Suffrage Association will still continue to issue its 
bulletins. 

Dr. Geisel, president of Shorter College, Georgia, 
says that institutions of higher education interfere 
with women's natural destiny. Chancellor Day, of 
Syracuse University, says if college women don't 
marry it is because their marriage standard is 
higher and they are not finding men fitted for 
fatherhood. As all the colleges can't be abolished 
in order to lower women's ideal of marriage, it looks 
as if something will have to be done to bring men 
up to the new standard. 

63 



Husband applied for a divorce because his wife 
was "absolutely independent." Judge granted it 
and he started off to find a dear little dependent 
who would give him a sort of manly feeling. 

* * 

King Alfonso is said to have become an advocate 
of woman's rights under the influence of his British 
Queen. Can't she be spared long enough to go home 
and try her hand on Cousin George? 

Young and impecunious members of the nobility 
may now be rented out for afternoon tea in London. 
This is not a bad use to make of them, but they 
could command a higher price in New York and 
Washington. 

* * 

Is one reason why so many men oppose woman 
suffrage because they are afraid their wives would 
obey St. Paul's injunction to ask of their husbands 
at home when they wanted information and ques- 
tions on political issues might prove embarrassing? 

At the suffrage hearing before the Massachusetts 
Legislature the "antis" evidently got their Irish up, 
as Molly Maguire called equal suffrage "rhe most 
deadly menace that ever faced the State," and 
Joseph Murphy said, "I am one of a family of four- 
teen children and my mother didn't need any vote 
to -do it." Perhaps it wouldn't have been safe, as 
she was such a "repeater ;" but Pa Murphy's chest 
must have swelled with pride when he went to the 
polls on election morning and represented sixteen 
people with one ballot. 

64 



"The Silent Woman," an ancient play, has been 
resurrected, perhaps as a reminder of something 
gone forever. The anti-suffragists used to claim 
that title, but if they are not making as much noise 
as the suffragists nowadays it is only because there 
are not nearly so many of them. 

At the recent election in Louisiana the men 
voted down a constitutional amendment to allow 
women to serve on school and charity boards, and 
the election officers in New Orleans were so afraid 
it might slip through that seventeen were in- 
dicted for "padding" the returns against it. Doubt- 
less they intended this simply as an act of chivalry. 

Governor Marshall, of Indiana, said recently to 
the Council of Women in Indianapolis, ''There is not 
a working woman in this city doing an honest work 
who is not more important to this State than the 
Governor." Funny he should talk like that when 
the women there can't vote; but he only confirmed 
the suspicions they had had for some time. 

The Anti-Suffrage Association sends out a press 
bulletin saying, "We object to being called away 
from uplifting the world through the old channels 
of education and religion to assist in uplifting it by 
the doubtful channels of the ballot box." They need 
not leave their job for it is such a big one that if 
derricks are erected in both channels it will still be 
necessary to call for outside help. 

65 



Prime Minister Asquith is caricatured by Pimch 
as Mona Lisa with the smile that won't come off. 
To the suffragists he looks more like the cat that 
swallowed the canary. 

"The clinging-vine type of women will continue 
to multiply," we are assured by those who claim to 
know. Well, that is a very good business, since they 
don't seem to be able to do anything else. 

* * 

In all the New York public-school gymnasiums 
the number of girls exceeds the number of boys. 
This does not indicate that the girls are preparing to 
be mihtant suffragists but only that the boys would 
rather smoke cigarettes and shoot craps. 

* * 

Secretary of State Bryan says he wouldn't feel 
sure of the support of women as they^ did not vote 
for him when he was a candidate; but he must 
remember that he hadn't discovered then that he 
was in favor of woman suffrage. 

Admiral Chadwick's recent assertion that "wom- 
en teachers develop in boys a feminized, emotion- 
al, illogical manhood" is receiving some support 
from great editors. It is very peculiar that moth- 
ers have always been taught that their finest work 
is to train their boys for the highest duties of citi- 
zenship, arid yet if these same boys spend a few 
hours each day in school with women teachers they 
are ruined for life. Is it only when there is a 
salary attached that a woman's teaching becomes 
dangerous? 

66 



That ancient skull found in England proves con- 
clusively, so the anthropologists say, that man had 
reason before he spoke. Well, well ! What a revo- 
lution has taken place since those prehistoric days ! 

* * 

A Paris jeweler has invented a ring to be worn 
by the divorced — two marriage rings intertwined 
in the form of a cross. Very inappropriate, when 
the wearers have just laid down their cross. 

A Russian woman has just started to explore 
an Arabian desert of thousands of miles, which no 
European has ever entered. How thankful she 
should be that the heavy burden of casting a bal- 
lot has not been imposed on her! 

* * 

The first thing the women of Oregon did with 
their brand-new ballots was to cast them against 
letting foreigners vote on their "first papers," 
which they had always done. Did somebody re- 
mark that women are too radical to be trusted 
with the suffrage? 

A Baptist minister in Chicago has opened in his 
church a school of home training to make women 
more desirable for wives. That school had better 
be closed by the authorities for women are so 
"desirable" already that school boards, theater 
managers, telegraph and telephone heads, even 
the government, are requiring those they employ 
to guarantee that they will not marry within a speci- 
fied time. A school to make women less desirable — 
that is the need of the hour. 

67 



A Cincinnati legislator has introduced a bill for 
a commission to "prescribe the fashions to be worn 
by women in the State of Ohio." One good thing 
about it would be that when it came to appointing 
officials to enforce the rules not an office-seeker in 
the State would be left without a job. 

* * 

New York's commissioner of corrections suggests 
that the one hundred and seventy-five wife beaters 
on Blackwell's Island be put to making creosoted 
paving blocks. Good idea! The perfume will re- 
mind them of what awaits them after their exit 
from this world of inadequate punishment. 

That Englishman who was put into jail because 
he had no money to pay the taxes on his wife's 
property must have a poor opinion of the law-mak- 
ing ability of his sex. Women couldn't do any 
worse, unless they condemned the poor husband to 
death. 

* * 

The Norwegian Parliament first gave municipal 
suffrage to women taxpayers; then gave them the 
Parliamentary franchise; then it removed the tax- 
paying qualification for the municipal vote. Its 
next step was to make them eligible for all political 
offices. Then it granted them the right to speak 
in the State church, but would not allow them to 
preach ; now it proposes to let them hold the Church 
offices. Lastly it gave the complete frcuchise to all 
women. There are only a few more inches to cut 
off and the State is bearing up as well as could be 
expected. 

68 



The young men of Cairo who have returned from 
European universities have begun a crusade to 
"emancipate" the Moslem women from the veil. 
Let us believe they are wholly disinterested. 

* * 

A woman who kept a grocery wanted to decorate 
her show windows in the anti-suffrage colors but 
she had no American Beauty roses, so she put in a 
lot of red lobsters. To make it still more appropriate 
she should' have added some clams. 

The English government has just raised the pay 
of the men clerks in the postoffices and reduced 
the pay of the women clerks to half that received by 
the men. To be sure hatchets are no argument but 
sometimes they express people's feelings better than 
logic. 

"Since the Prince of Wales left his mother," say 
the press dispatches, "he has become a 'man' in the 
best sense of the word. He drives his car beyond 
the speed limit and is rarely seen without a pipe in 
his mouth." How fine! It shows that he is rapidly 
developing the qualities necessary for a great ruler. 

* * 

Seven men in one precinct in a Kansas town had 
to get the election officers to mark their ballots, snd 
all voted against the woman-suffrage amendment. 
Those officials were still more obliging in some of 
the Michigan towns, it is said, for they gathered up 
all the ballots that were left over and voted them 
against this amendment. 

69 



The anti-suffragists opened their campaign at 
Sherry's, in New York, the other day; but this 
does not necessarily imply that they used a cork- 
screw. 

* * 

In many places the liquor sellers are complaining 
that the moving-picture shows, where a man can 
take his wife and children for five or ten cents, 
are ruining their business. Anything that keeps a 
man with his family is an enemy to the saloon. 

* * 

The latest census report shows that there are 
about thirty thousand more divorced women than 
men in the United States. This seems to indicate 
that the men get back into the married state as 
quickly as possible but the women know when they 
have had enough. 

The wild outcry of the anti-guffragists against 
"feminism" indicates that they prefer masculinism 
for women. Let them have it, for luckily they are 
not of enough importance for all womankind to be 
judged by what they do and say, as is the case with 
the suffragists. 

The California papers congratulate the State that, 
"whereas it was in a ferment of suffrage meetings 
two years ago, now there is not the slightest tur- 
moil but all is peace." This should be a lesson to 
other States where the turmoil is getting worse 
every day and there is just about as much peace in 
sight as there is in Europe. 

70 



Help, help ! The pastor of the First Spiritual 
Church in Worcester, Mass., has to appeal to the 
police for protection from "lovesick maidens and 
scheming mothers." He'd better go West, where 
there is not such a scarcity of men and women can 
be more particular. 

People used to object to letting women vote be- 
cause of the publicity it would give them; but 
nowadays when one sees the public stunts of the 
suffragists trying to get the ballot and of the "antis" 
trying to prevent it, he devoutly wishes that they 
might all be made voters at once so they could 
retire to the privacy of their homes and families. 

* * 

That big New York hotel that had to change its 
dainty, esthetic liquor buffet for women into a com- 
mon bar for men, because the women would not 
patronize it, seems to prove two things ; first, that 
the stories of the drink habit among women are 
greatly exaggerated; and, second, that it's always 
safe to start another bar for men. 

* * 

The Anti-Suffrage Society of Washington passed 
at vote of censure on the Young Women's Christian 
Association of that city because it allowed the dele- 
gation of working women who called on the Presi- 
dent to have a paid-for luncheon in its headquarters. 
The members of the association felt so badly about 
it that they immediately proceeded to give a 
circus. 

71 



South Carolina has employed three policewomen. 
Well, if the men insist on electing an individual 
like Cole Blease for Governor, it's up to the wom- 
en to protect the State. 

* * 

The new Socialist member of Congress says he 
will try to have a law passed that no workingman 
shall marry a wage-earning woman who has not 
a union card. Wouldn't a marriage certificate be 
a union card? 

"For six thousand years men have been trying 
to run the world," said Speaker Clark, "and some 
people think they have made a bad mess of it." Jf it 
had been for only that brief space of time women 
might be willing to let them keep on trying awhile 
longer. 

- * * . --^c. 

The favorite newspaper paragraph now in refer- 
ring to the cheap suffrage-parade hats assures wom- 
en that if they will wear forty-eight-cent hats all the 
year round they can have anything they want. Well, 
the first thing they want is for men to set the ex- 
ample by wearing hats at the same price. 

The Denver police records show that married men 
are far more law-abiding than unmarried, and the 
New York City superintendent of schools says the 
married women teachers are much more amenable 
to discipline than the spinsters. There seems to be 
no doubt that marriage is the best known means of 
saving grace for the unregenerate. 

72 



They say that gymnasium statistics show a steady 
increase in the size of women's waists. In that 
case something should be done to bring about a 
steady increase in the length of men's arms. 

* * 

The anti-suffragists are having a good deal of fun 
because the papers tell of a California mayor who 
does the family washing. Maybe he runs a laundry. 
Men are doing most of the family washings nowa- 
days. 

* * 

Andre de Fouquieres, who has come over from 
Paris to teach American men how to dress by lec- 
turing at afternoon teas, says, "New York is the 
finishing touch of the world." Glad it looks that 
way. So many seem to come over for the purpose 
of making a finishing touch. 

An eminent London scientist asserts that the 
points which distinguish the human race from the 
beasts are more marked in woman than in man. 
"For instance," he says, "her ear is more human 
than a man's." Maybe so; certainly she doesn't 
so often show the length of it. 

* *- 

The Fathers' and Mothers' Club of one of the 
Eastern cities farthest along in the Science of eu- 
genics has issued instructions to young men con- 
templating matrimony to study the mother, as the 
daughter is likely to be an exact copy. Suppose a 
girl is advised to study the father on the same 
principle — won't that put an end to marriage? 

73 



Now the suffrage societies of Canada have united 
in a National Franchise Association and Great 
Britain will soon have another lot of daughters who 
can outvote their mother. 

* * 

Congress is considering a bill to give the suffrage 
to the men of Porto Rico. Can it be that there are 
any males under the jurisdiction of the United States 
without a vote? Shelve all other measures before 
Congress until this terrible wrong has been righted ! 

* * 

The women who have been running for office 
in those Western States have drawn the line on 
kissing babies, saying that they are too well versed 
in hygiene to commit that crime. As has been re- 
marked, women are entirely too much given to senti- 
ment to be allowed to vote. 

Anti-suffrage literature declares that the enfran- 
chisement of women will "efface the natural differ- 
entiation of function between the two sexes." Oh, 
no, it won't! Nature can't be effaced and the 
differentiation will go right on differentiating just 
the same. 

What a queer way they have in Great Britain of 
encouraging matrimony ! There are about a million 
more women than men, but when the Canadian gov- 
ernment begged that some of the women might be 
sent over as wives for the English immigrants, the 
authorities in England vetoed it because the women 
were needed to work in the cotton mills. 

74 



Perhaps in the U. S. women should not vote be- 
cause they cannot fight but the man in England who 
said this would have to run to cover. 

"We believe that political equality will deprive 
us of special privileges hitherto accorded us by 
law," cry the anti-suffragists. How very sad ! Will 
they please name one or two special privileges that 
the women have lost in those States where they 
can vote? 

The government is closing all the saloons on the 
reservations to protect the Indians, and the Southern 
Legislatures are passing drastic temperance laws 
to protect the negroes. It seems to be left to the 
women to demand measures for the protection of the 
white men. 

A Missouri legislator has introduced a bill tha 
the buttons on the back of a woman's dress shall 
be as large as a silver quarter. Some time when 
those women legislators out West cannot find any- 
thing else to do they will introduce a bill that men 
shall cease wearing any buttons at all on the back 
and cuffs of their coat. 

* ♦ 

The Anti-Suffrage Association is to be congratu- 
lated on the latest contribution to its literature by 
Abdul Hamid, the deposed Sultan of Turkey. There 
is such a similarity between his opinions on woman 
suffrage and Mrs. Humphry Ward's that it certainly 
is either a case of plagiarism or two souls with 
but a single thought. 

75 



Harvard University has taken off the ban and 

allowed a speech on woman suffrage within its 

sacred walls. If the ban had remained on a little 

longer it would not have been necessary to take 

it off. 

* * 

Almost the last words of Baroness von Suttner 
before she sailed for home were that there never 
would be peace here until the women had a vote. 
The men could have told her that as soon as she 
landed in the United States. 

For many days before Easter, the dispatches said, 
the Cleveland suffragists trimmed hats to be sold 
for the "cause." Go to ! It would be utterly impos- 
sible for a woman to believe in suffrage and know 
how to trim a hat. 

Kansas women say that they have long been ac- 
customed to masculine chivalry, as they have had 
the municipal vote for a quarter of a century; but 
since they got the full suffrage they are so over- 
whelmed with attentions from the men that they 
can hardly resist a political flirtation. 

Strange, isn't it, how Government offices, public 
schools and the rest penalize matrimony, and then 
when women ask for the suffrage the opponents 
shriek aloud that it will destroy the desire for 
marriage? Doesn't it ever occur to them that the 
loss of all these business opportunities might have 
this effect? Husbands are nice, but oh, you salary! 

76 



I 



Beatrice Harraden learned at a recent legislative 
hearing in Westminster that "the women impresseci 
the statesmen but the statesmen did not in the 
least impress the women." We have always seen 
this in our country but we never let the "statesmen" 
know it. 

The belated action of the New York anti-suf- 
fragists, in opening their little headquarters on Fifth 
Avenue a few days before the big suffrage parade 
"to offset any impression it might make," recalls the 
careful housewife, who exclaimed when she saw 
Niagara Falls, "Oh, that reminds me — I left the 
kitchen faucet running!" 

* * 

It is perfectly proper for mothers of wealth and 
social position to employ nurses and governesses for 
their children; but when a business or professional 
woman does the same, society at large goes into 
hysterics over her poor, neglected offspring. If the 
mother is off playing bridge and attending "teas," 
it. is all right; but if she is away earning a salary it 
is all wrong. 

* * 

When women wanted to be customs inspectors 
the authorities said they could never, never climb 
the ladder on the side of a ship. Strange to say 
the two women who demonstrated that it could 
easily be done were both daughters of Presidents. 
It is odd how many obstacles can be placed in the 
way when a woman wants a job with a salary 
attached 1 

77 



Amherst College is to establish a chair of common 
sense. Great pity that college isn't co-educational ! 

* * 

''When women are elected to Congress, there will 
be no more secret caucuses," says a great daily. 
Since when have there been any of that kind? 

* * • 

School inspectors in Russia have issued an order 
that no married woman teacher can have more than 
two children. They have heard about the New 
York board of education and gone them two better. 

"Suffrage was begotten in Utah and Idaho by 
Mormonism," says a syndicate article sent forth by 
the Pennsylvania "anti" association. Oh, no; it was 
"begotten" in Wyoming, when there wasn't a Mor- 
mon in the Territory. 

* * 

His name is Abnel — a German doctor who has 
made a discovery. "The world's well-being is threat- 
ened by the adoration of suffragists for dissolute 
men. The clinging, domestic women are naturally 
attracted to strong men." Of course — the men 
would have to be strong to support their weight. 
"But the women politicians have lost the selective 
instinct," he says. "They flutter toward the Don 
Juans like moths and are consumed before they 
realize their own folly." Yes, people notice this in 
those Western States — a perfect holocaust as soon 
as women get the ballot. That is why the Don 
Juans always vote against it — they would feel so 
dreadfully helpless with all the women politicians 
fluttering toward them in order to be consumed. 

78 



Which is likely to do more damage to the sweetly 
feminine character — to stand at the polls all day 
and hand out coffee to voters, or to deposit a ballot 
and then go home and attend to woman's legiti- 
mate business? 

* * 

A cardinal in Venice denounced the tight skirts 
women are wearing and ordered them to do pen- 
ance. They hastened to church the next day for 
the purpose, but were obliged to perform their 

devotions standing! 

* * 

The New Thought devotees have thought out 
a new kind of marriage — "a mating of harmonious 
vibrations." But that has been the trouble with 
marriage in late years — the parties have vibrated 
among too many people. 

* * 

A Chicago suffrage club has just been formed, 
to which only young, unmarried women are eligible. 
It seems only yesterday that girls were solemnly 
admonished that if they advocated woman suffrage 
no man would marry them, but they can't be scared 

that way now. " 

* * 

Richard Le Gallienne has gone Omar Khayyam's 
"a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou, singing in 
the wilderness underneath a bough," one better. He 
will be perfectly satisfied "if only she and I can go, 
walking forever through the snow." Maybe he 
would, but we think the lady would want something 
warmer even than Richard's poetry. 

79 



There was an increase. of fifteen per cent, in mar- 
riages in Chicago the, first six months after the 
Legislature granted woman suffrage. That may not 
have been the cause but if th$ figures had gone 
the other way there would have had to be a special 
session to repeal it. 



« » 



The New York Times suggests that "the suffra- 
gists have the right of petition and by exercising it 
in a proper manner they may advance their cause." 
They have been doing this for sixty-five years. If 
there is any new style in petitions they will be very 
thankful for a diagram and a paper pattern. 

* * 

Anti-suffragists are protesting against having that 
v^ote for suffrage at the biennial called unanimous. 
All right; say that twenty-one hundred votes were 
cast, and seventy of them were negative^ — thirty in 
favor to one opposed — and that is just about the 
way the woman's vote would stand throughout the 
country. 

Pittsburgh is to have a saloon exclusively for 
women, as they have been crowded out of the 
others by the men. Promoters of the new idea 
should go to New York and inquire at the Hotel 
Vanderbilt, which started out with a beautiful "bar" 
for women, but a month later it was closed for 
lack of patronage and reopened as a much needed 
annex to the large and flourishing bar for men. ' 



Prof. Spencer Baldwin, of Boston University, is 
an anti-suffragist. He doesn't like the new woman 
— "androgynous hybrid," that is what he calls her. 
It's up to the professor to find an anti-toxin. 

* * 

In the United States the women say they won't 
pay their taxes if they can't vote and in London 
they say they won't pay their rent. Our government 
can compromise with them by giving the suffrage 
but what is their landlord to do? 

* * 

The head of the "vocational bureau" in Boston 
thinks the time may come when graduation cer- 
tificates in fathercraft and mothercraft will be 
issued by the public schools. But if the holders 
don't get aboard the matrimonial craft what good 
will these do? 

Hampton Court has been closed to the public for 
a long time through fear of the suffragettes; but the 
government has at last evolved a scheme — it will 
open the palace and charge a shilling admission! 
How clever ! But suppose a suffragette should be 
able to borrow a shilling? 

* * 

Woman suffragists campaigning in Wisconsin 
came across a man whose wife has supported the 
family for years by walking the tight rope, and 
he announced that he should vote against the suf- 
frage amendment because a woman's place is at 
home. There are a vast number just like him there, 
judging from the election returns. 

81 



Under a woman school superintendent in Rowan 
County, Kentucky, the number of illiterates in two 
years has been reduced from 1,152 to 23, and these 
are physically incompetent. One of the great dan- 
gers of equal suffrage is that women might aspire 

to hold office! 

* * 

The women of Nevada have been holding a "sacri- 
fice week" to raise money for their suffrage cam- 
paign, as also have women in the neighboring States 
to help them. By the way, can anybody recall any 
special sacrifice to earn the right that has been 
made by the men who are now doing the voting in 
the United States? 

A Johns Hopkins professor says that in twenty 
years' experience with over a thousand graduates of 
both sexes he has failed to discover the inferior 
brains of women which he hears so much about. He 
should apply to the anti-suffragists, who not only can 
tell him all about them but can furnish him with 
plenty of specimens. 

* * 

Secretary Daniels declares that "bachelors are 
encumberers of the earth" and offers the use 
of the United States navy to scatter their ranks. 
As the most of them are land animals the services 
of the War Department would be more effective. 
Meanwhile it is safe to say that few bachelors pass 
the age of fifty without the inner consciousness that 
they ought to be blown up or sent to the bottom of 
the sea. 

82 



At the next election after California women were 
enfranchised, the vote of the State increased 313,883. 
As has often been remarked, women wouldn't use 
the suffrage if they had it. 

"The men are to put on their clothes with a shoe 
horn," is the latest fashion edict. We shall not be- 
lieve it till we see it, and even then we shall look 
the other way. 

Some "bootleggers" who are to be tried before a 
jury of women in Colorado are said to be feeling 
very anxious. Why so? The objection to women 
as judges and jurors has always been that they are 
too sentimental and emotional to mete out justice. 

The illogical minds of women cannot comprehend 

why it is, when a congressman's constituents indi- 

::ate that they don't want him to represent them in 

the government any longer, that same government 

immediately puts him on the pay roll in another 

place. 

* * 

The male editors of the two leading fashion maga- 
zines are using columns of space in argument 
whether the women of this country shall adopt 
A^merican or French styles. The National Associa- 
tion of Master Bakers, at their recent convention, 
adopted a resolution in favor of woman suffrage, 
giving as a reason that if women go into politics 
they won't have time to stay at home and bake 
Dread. It is really outrageous the way women are 
[Crowding into the fields of labor that belong to men ! 

83 



"It is a wise child that knows its own father," 
but in France they have just passed a law which 
will permit the mother to make some inquiries. 

* * ...... 

The new invention of making rubber tires out of 
a substance extracted from whiskey suggests that 
it would be an excellent thing on most of the "joy" 
rides if the whiskey was in the tires instead of the 
automobile. 

The public-school teachers who want the suffrage 
have raised the cry, "Can disfranchised teachers 
train citizens?" Of course they can, so long as 
they can be had for half the price that a man would 

charge for the job. 

* * 

A Democratic candidate for congressman-at-large 
in Illinois, who is an anti-suffragist, is making his 
canvass on the platform : "A husband and a home 
for every woman." As over twenty-five hundred 
husbands in Chicago alone last year abandoned their 
wives, he should add another plank that if he is 
elected all husbands will stick to home and family. 

Just as the Anti-Suffrage Association issued its 
bulletin announcing that there was no favorable 
movement in the South, the Georgia Federation of 
Labor strongly indorsed the suffragists and the 
Atlanta Constitution declared editorially, "Success 
seems about to crown their efforts." The antis are 
playing in hard luck; no sooner do they get their 
type all nicely set up than the other side does some- 
thing or other that knocks it into "pi." 

84 



One of those gifted male lecturers who know 
everything says, "We have new models of automo- 
biles every year; we should work out new models 
of the antiquated family machine." Go ahead ; 
women have no objection as long as they are per- 
mitted to sit at the steering wheel. 



"Marse Henry" Watterson says he has found only 
three classes of women who want the suffrage: 
"Those who wish to exploit their own interests, those 
who are soured on life and the brainless sheep who 
think it is fashionable." Maybe ^ it is like that in 
Kentucky, but the men in some States have found 
several other kinds. 

The "bachelor tax" which the Montana legislators 
want to impose varies from $2.50 to $100 per annum, 
but the majority think $5 would be about right. It 
seems like cruelty to animals to put on any tax at 
all when there are more than twice as many men 
ais women over twenty-one years old in the State 
and those across the border are in just as bad a fix. 

Emile Deschamps tells us in his new book that 
the American woman cannot keep her husband's 
love because she does not return it. But if she 
returned it of course she couldn't keep it. Funny 
how ' many things these foreigners find out- about 
American women never discovered by American 
men, who seem to be well enough . satisfied not to 
go wife hunting in any other country. 

85 



Almost every organization in the "campaign" 
States which stands for anything that ought to be 
stood for has indorsed the suffrage amendment. 
Will the antis name one which has declared against 
it — that is, has declared publicly? 

* * 

It's funny how every woman who does anything 
nowadays, from climbing a steeple to taking the 
prize at a beauty show, is described as "a leading 
suffragist." Don't the "antis" ever get married or 
die or have triplets or do anything worth notice? 

* * 

One striking difference between the United States 
Senate and the British House of Commons is that 
when a deputation of women suffragists make a call 
the Senators receive them with open arms and the 

Commoners shout for the police. 

* * 

The nurses who cared for Mr. Roosevelt in the 
Chicago hospital have been so deluged with offers 
of marriage they have had to go into seclusion. It's 
such a very funny way men have of showing their 

appreciation of a woman by offering to marry her ! 

* * 

The women in China, it is said, have now advanced 
so far that they are held accountable for their 
crimes instead of their male relatives. Here, too. 
It used to be the law in many of our States that 
a wife could not be punished for a crime commit- 
ted in the presence of her husband. Having a 
husband was considered sufficient punishment for 
her — or at least that seemed to be just as good a 
reason as any for the law. 

86 



Captain Amundson, the antarctic discoverer, who 
comes from Norway where women vote, says of 
the English suffragettes : "They are quite right, and 
I'd like to help them in their fight for freedom." The 
captain had better confine himself to easy jobs like 
finding the South Pole. 

* * 

The anti-suffrage headquarters in Trenton, N. J., 
have a big placard in the window, asking, "Why the 
Increase in Juvenile Crime in Denver?" Because, 
according to the chief of police, "juvenile crime 
in Denver has decreased nearly two hundred per 
cent, in the last ten years" — that's why. It is amaz- 
ing how the anti-suffragists manage to acquire so 
much misinformation. 

In Colonel Roosevelt's latest pronunciamento on 
the question of suffrage, he says that he "always 
believed it exactly as much the right of women as 
men, but he only favored it 'tepidly' until his asso- 
ciation with such women as Jane Addams," etc. Is 
the colonel quite sure that he was not slightly in- 
fluenced by those 2,000,000 women out West with the 
vote already in their hands? 

* * 

At the recent suffrage debate in Congress a great 
deal was said about women "trailing their skirts in 
the mire of politics" by some of the befo'-the-wah 
members. Evidently the old gentlemen hadn't 
learned that trailing skirts went out of fashion 
years ago and now the men can't make the political 
mud deep enough to touch the hem of the up-to- 
date dresses. 

87 



The "antis" appeal to the legislators to "listen to 
logic instead of the dropping of ballots." Impos- 
sible! Compared with the thud of those ballots 
all other noises sound like utter silence. 

* * 

Grand opera was sung to fourteen lions at the zoo 
in Berlin and they didn't do any violence to the 
singers. Audiences in many countries have been 
just as forbearing. 

A society has been organized in New York to 
arouse in fathers more interest in their children. 
Perhaps they have already sufficient interest but in 
many cases it has to be spread out over such a 

large surface. 

* * 

Miss Dora Keen, the Pennsylvania woman who 
recently climbed to the top of Harvard Glacier 
in Alaska believes that she has the physical strength 
to cast a ballot, but the men of her State insist 
that she must stay at home and let them protect 
her from being jostled at the polls. 

All sorts of explanations have been made as to 
why those Kansas women, when they found they had 
won the suffrage, built a bonfire and threw their 
old hats in it. Perhaps they concluded that, now 
they were voters, they must act as silly as men. 
Maybe they had such swelled heads that the hats 
wouldn't fit. Possibly they thought they could get 
new ones on election bets. But most likely they 
only wanted to show that now their hats are in the 
ring and they are ready for the fray. 

88 



The Woman's Journal says the devil and the anti- 
suffragists will be busy all summer. Why both? 



He * 



Now 12,000 bakers are going on a strike. It didn't 
used to be that way when the nation's wives and 
mothers baked the bread. 



A National Desertion Bureau has been incorpor- 
ated to try to settle all, the domestic quarrels in 
the country. There won't be enough of that bureau 
left to kindle a fire on a marriage altar. 

"Women must not have the suffrage," says an 
authorized document of the antis, "because Max 
Eastman's wife goes by her maiden name" Where 
does she "go?" That is much more to the point, 
if she is to decide the question. 

. "On one. side," says a Pennsylvania official in the 
Anti-Suffrage Association, "are the mother and the 
home; on the other the woman seeking the place 
man occupies as the framer of constitutions and the 
administrator of civil government." Seems as if 
we know of several men who don't f rariie con- 
stitutions or administer any kind of government, 
and a good many womefi who can't stay on the 
side of the home because they have to go out and 
earn the money to have a home. Men arid women 
can't be divided like goats and sheep, and if they 
could, there is no valid reason why the voting 
booths should all be on one side of the line. 

89 



There is a great cry in Washington about retiring 
the superannuated clerks for the good of the service. 
What is impairing the service is the large number 
of inefficient chiefs of departments who are draw- 
ing big salaries while their poorly paid women as- 
sistants do the work. 



For the second time a Radcliffe girl has won the 
$100 prize open to students of all colleges for the 
best essay on municipal government. Oh, yes, 
women may be very good on the theory, but only 
men have the practical knowledge. Just observe 
what a shining success they have made of city 
governments ! 

The way women will lose the respect of men 
when they get a vote was illustrated in Arizona, 
where as soon as women were enfranchised the men 
nominated the president of the Suffrage Associa- 
tion for State senator, and she received six hun- 
dred more votes than any other candidate on the 

ticket. 

* * 

Votes for Women says that the Peers, when they 
argued against woman suffrage, should have been 
clothed in skins with feathers in their hair, and Lord 
Curzon, when he moved the rejection of the bill, 
should have begun by dancing around the wool- 
sack and singing an incantation. We must protest 
against this libel on the American Indian; he would 
scorn to take an Englishman's attitude against the 
rights of women. 

90 



The State of Washington has the lowest death 
rate of any in the country; New Hampshire the 
highest. Moral — Go West, where women vote. 

* * 

There have been but four "champion" typewriters, 
and three of these were women. As soon as the 
machine was invented women were at the keyboard, 
and yet you hear men operators complaining that 
women have "usurped" their positions ! 

* * 

When that International Congress of Women 
Voters meets in San Francisco next summer, there 
will be a fine chance to observe how the suffrage 
has unsexed women and destroyed the feminine 
instincts in at least nine countries. 

Whenever anybody issues the edict that women 
have not the physical strength to vote some of them 
immediately shin up a flagpole on a fifty-story build- 
ing and take a header off the Brooklyn Bridge for 
a moving-picture show, loop the loop in an airship 
and climb the highest mountain in the world. 

* * 

Civil Service Commissioner Mcllhenny says the 
women government employes may march in the suf- 
frage parade as individuals but not as clerks. Thanks 
Mr. Commissioner ! . That is what the suffragists 
are asking for — to be considered as individuals in- 
stead of belonging to somebody or something. But 
they can't join a suffrage club, he says. As the 
man in prison answered his lawyer who said, "They 
can't put you in jail for that" — "They already hev." 

91 



An anti-Tammany bureau of a thousand speakers 
is being organized in New York to talk the "tiger" 
to death. Right there is where they need the 
help of women. 

Medical statistics from Paris announce that men 
show most brilliancy from forty to fifty-six. This 
holds out a great deal of hope for ,a lot of men 
we know who are under forty, 

"There is no reform legislation in any suffrage 
State which is not duplicated in those where women 
cannot vote," says the "antis." If that is so they will 
have to find some other excuse for beating the 
suffragists to the polls as soon as they get a chance. 

* * 

The United States Senate has made an appro- 
priation to erect a splendid mernorial in Washing- 
ton in recognition of the service rendered by wom- 
en durjng the Civil War. By all means; and then 
don't deny the franchise to women because they 
cannot serve their country in time of war, 

The Women's Political Association of Australia 
has called upon its national Parliament to protect 
the political rights of the women of that country, 
who become disfranchised the moment they take 
up a residence in any other part of the British 
empire, while men continue to vote. Here, too! 
Help for the women voters of twelve States, who, 
when they go to live in any of the other thirty-six, 
are reduced to the political level of the idiots, insane 
and criminal. 

92 



Shall women propose? Well, they have a good 
deal of nerve nowadays, but hardly enough to say 
to a man, "Please take me and support me for the 
rest of my life!" They must first be financially in- 
dependent and then somehow they seem to lose 
interest in the matter. 



When Utah's electoral college met to cast the vote 
of the State for President and Vice-President, its 
members selected the one woman elector to carry 
the result to Washington. Those Western States 
are constantly giving just such examples as this of 
the way men lose respect for women when they 
can vote and hold office. 

In all of the Eastern cities thousands of children 
are kept out of school because there are no seats 
for them. Does any one believe this would be the 
case if women handled the school funds? A good 
many useless officials who are now holding down 
chairs would stand up and the school children would 
have seats. . 

* * ., . 

Another English woman heard from! 'American 
men," she says, "are arrogant snobs, who think they, 
are the salt of the earth." That is a much more 
alluring description than to call them spiritless crea- 
tures, entirely dominated by women — the usual Eng- 
lish idea. Whatever they are, they suit American 
women and the English \YOmen can't have them. 

93 



Mayor Mitchel ought to take it out on the powers 
that advised him to do it. How was one so youiig 
to know that a gun could have such a powerful 

back action? 

* * 

Kansas suffragists declare they are not going to 
ask men for a penny to carry on their campaign. 
Maybe not but husbands had better go to bed with 
their clothes on. 

A woman who has just returned to earth after 
a trance reports th?t she saw some male angels but 
they had no wings. Possibly they had at one time 
but found them inconvenient and passed them on to 
women, just as here on earth they did with skirts. 
* * 

"Do women realize," says a writer in an anti- 
suffrage paper, "that as they become self-support- 
ing they deprive men of the right to support them?" 
Don't worry; men can always find women who are 
willing to be supported — some of them find too 

many. 

* * 

The National Women's Trade Unions' League and 
its various State auxiliaries and all kinds of working 
women's organizations are continually passing reso- 
lutions for woman suffrage. On the other hand, Dr. 
Katharine Bement Davis, superintendent of the 
Bedford Reformatory for Women, says that her 
charges, almost to a woman, are opposed to it. If a 
person is to be judged by the company she keeps, 
one hardly feels like getting acquainted with the 
members of the Anti-Suffrage Association. 

94 



It's all right for the Kansas Legislature to have 
a woman sergeant-at-arms, but it seems that her 
name ought not to be "Effie." By the way what 
does the sergeant have to do with her arms. 

* * 

In the States where women can vote they have 
not exactly turned their swords into plowshares but 
they have transformed their suffrage societies into 
civic clubs, and instead of their begging men to 
give them votes, the men are begging women for 
the votes they already hold in their lily-white 
hands. 

* * 

The Legislature of Alaska enfranchised women 
and then enacted a statute declaring that "all laws 
which impose or recognize civil disability on a 
wife that do not exist as to the husband are here- 
by repealed." As the "antis" are fond of saying, 
"Women must accept the suffrage at a terrible 
sacrifice of the privileges they have enjoyed." 



History repeats itself. The Ceres Ladies' So- 
ciety, fifty years old — the society, not the ladies — 
admitted a few men as a compliment and now has 
filed an ouster against them because they usurped 
all the offices. Sixty years ago Susan B. Anthony 
and Elizabeth Cady Stanton formed a women's tem- 
perance society and were persuaded to admit men, 
who at the first election, got control of the offices. 
The two women walked out of the society and out 
of the temperance movement straight into that for 
woman suffrage. Men should have a care ! 

95 




They say that such a crop of eels never has been 
known. It's always like that during the season of 
candidates. 

* * 

According to the decision of the New York board 
of education, no woman is fitted to teach children 
after she has had a child herself. Masculine logic! 

* * 

The latest scientific discovery is that on the right 
kind of food a hen will lay a hundred per cent, 
more eggs. If she does the rooster will crow him- 
self to death. 

* * 

The papers have given wide publicity to the 
Arkansas farmer who offers a large porker to any 
one that will find him a wife. There is often an 
exchange of that kind in marriage, and the wife 
gets it. 

The "antis" have announced that in their New 
lYork headquarters they "will overcome the yelling 
f the suffragists with exquisite music on the harp 
^nd other stringed instruments." At the same 
time the Illinois hospital for the insane an- 
nounces an arrangement to cure their patients with 
music. There must have been collusion between the 
two. The methods and talk of the antis for a 
long time have indicated that they thought they were 
dealing with the feeble-minded if not the danger- 
ously insane. The experiments will be watched with 
interest but the antis should hurry up, as the number 
of suffragists at large is rapidly increasing and it 
will require a lot of music. 

96 



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